I know that if Joe and I had received a nice package like that with those coupons, I'd be all over it.

Really? 'cause if that's true, I want to do it. I am pretty sure it's the overwhelmingness of new baby that is keeping the couple from garden stuff. But I can say that I'd also like to just get to know them, especially now that we'll be neighbors for a good long while. Thanks for the feedback. I just don't want to be a jerk.

ETA:

I would interpret that gesture as "We're super anal about our neighborhood and you are a constant source of irritation and annoyance to us."

Really? That's extreme. No one has said it's a constant source of irritation and annoyance. We're saying we're bummed that a really beautiful garden has been overtaken with weeds. And we're not telling them to do anything about it, we're offering to do it ourselves.

I fear I would be Hec in this. I would assume I was driving the neighborhood crazy.

Really. You guys are acknowledging the fact that they are new parents and that gardening has fallen way down on the list of priorities for them, which is typical and totally justified. The fact that you guys want to help them and not just be "Clean up your shit." I would have welcomed it. My mom used to do that for our neighbors when they had new babies. She loved to garden and loved being able to help out that way so that it was one less thing they needed to worry about.

The fact that it helps the neighborhood and Erinn, just makes it win-win.

I would say to make up a nice basket, maybe with some wine - my brother and sister-in-law got some bottles called "Mommy's Night Out Chardonnay" and a "Daddy" kind, too that they loved. A card for the baby, maybe a gift card to Target or a food place, and the coupons. If they don't take you guys up on it, then it gets wierd if they get bugged about it, but I would say it would be taken as a very nice gesture.

Let's be honest, either side here is going to be hurt. I mean, we jump on whichever side is presented (currently I feel awful for Aims but I totally think it'd be a nice gesture from javachik) because, hey, friends but both sides are valid and I don't think it's a situation where there is any easy answer.

I think we'll do the wine and basket/card thing and then I'll mention to them that I usually spend Sundays doing yard work and it would be no trouble at all do cover theirs while I'm at it or something. Like I said, E's been to their house and is on fine terms. The issue hasn't been brought up at all precisely because we don't want to hurt feelings or make someone who's probably overwhelmed with new baby feel any more overwhelmed.

In the continuing story of "Weight lifting is the key to me getting in shape, who knew?" . . .

I was scratching a mosquito bite on my side, and it dawned on me that my side felt odd. And I realized--that's a corner I'm feeling. Not the continuous curve that has been my torso for decades, but an actual muscle edge. I ran my fingers along it disbelief for nearly a minute before I stopped myself.

re: the neighbors, I'm expecting them to say, "Oh, don't bother about the garden, we're going to pull that out and put in grass because all that planting is too hard to take care of."

(I'm not a gardener. It all looks pretty and I appreciate the work people put into it, but I'm too inherently lazy to do it.)

Really? That's extreme. No one has said it's a constant source of irritation and annoyance.

You said Erinn was upset. I don't think my interpretation is extreme. Here's where I was at that point in my parenthood with Emmett, "So, my wife has severe post-natal depression, I'm averaging about four hours of sleep a night, I can barely focus at work, we're scraping by emotionally, financially and physically and you want to let me know in a not-so-subtle way how disappointed you are in our gardening? Is that it?"

To be honest, from my perspective, it would be extreme for a neighbor to get upset about my yard. Especially if I had a newborn infant.

re: the neighbors, I'm expecting them to say, "Oh, don't bother about the garden, we're going to pull that out and put in grass because all that planting is too hard to take care of."

That would be fine, as it's their lawn. Our HOA does have standards about lawn care, though, and it's actually far easier and less costly to tend to the kind of garden they have than it is a lawn. The previous owners already spent the huge time and energy and money getting it planted, etc. The aftercare is the easy part.