re: the neighbors, I'm expecting them to say, "Oh, don't bother about the garden, we're going to pull that out and put in grass because all that planting is too hard to take care of."

(I'm not a gardener. It all looks pretty and I appreciate the work people put into it, but I'm too inherently lazy to do it.)

Really? That's extreme. No one has said it's a constant source of irritation and annoyance.

You said Erinn was upset. I don't think my interpretation is extreme. Here's where I was at that point in my parenthood with Emmett, "So, my wife has severe post-natal depression, I'm averaging about four hours of sleep a night, I can barely focus at work, we're scraping by emotionally, financially and physically and you want to let me know in a not-so-subtle way how disappointed you are in our gardening? Is that it?"

To be honest, from my perspective, it would be extreme for a neighbor to get upset about my yard. Especially if I had a newborn infant.

re: the neighbors, I'm expecting them to say, "Oh, don't bother about the garden, we're going to pull that out and put in grass because all that planting is too hard to take care of."

That would be fine, as it's their lawn. Our HOA does have standards about lawn care, though, and it's actually far easier and less costly to tend to the kind of garden they have than it is a lawn. The previous owners already spent the huge time and energy and money getting it planted, etc. The aftercare is the easy part.

You said Erinn was upset. I don't think my interpretation is extreme. Here's where I was at that point in my parenthood with Emmett, "So, my wife has severe post-natal depression, I'm averaging about four hours of sleep a night, I can barely focus at work, we're scraping by emotionally, financially and physically and you want to let me know in a not-so-subtle way how disappointed you are in our gardening? Is that it?"

She's upset because the weeds from the side of their house have now grown so big that when Erinn is parked in her own driveway, her passengers can't get out of the car. I think she has the right to be irritated and gets credit for being considerate enough to try coming up with a way to fix it without hurting the new parents' feelings.

I would appreciate it. But then I've never been pregnant so I can't attest to how I'd feel after having a baby.

One thing you could do is word the coupons so it's good for "grocery shopping, running errands, yard work, or whatever you need help with!" and that way the family can pick what they want help with. That way yard work is an option and it may not seem like a reproach if it's optional.

Of course, even if it weren't optional it may not seem like a reproach it obviously depends on the person.

One thing you could do is word the coupons so it's good for "grocery shopping, running errands, yard work, or whatever you need help with!" and that way the family can pick what they want help with. That way yard work is an option and it may not seem like a reproach if it's optional.

Oh I like that all-in-one thing. Thanks, askye.

Connie- that's awesome!

I think she has the right to be irritated

Well, again, the motivation seems to be her irritation.

gets credit for being considerate enough to try coming up with a way to fix it without hurting the new parents' feelings.

Since this subject came up because Aimee was upset about similar neighborhood offers of help, and both I and Ginger noted we would take that offer as a critique I would only suggest that there may be some chance that this is a touchy issue.

However, you know your neighbors better than me so I'll defer to your judgment.

That's a good idea, askye.

Thanks! I hope it works.