I'd think that the owner is ultimately responsible for meeting the provisions of the HOA. If she cares so much, she should take it up with him or the board.

I'm glad I don't have to deal with that, since my yard is a giant science experiment.

You're raising a great kid, leading a Girl Scout troop, being a good student, working, and being a cool person. That's way more adult than many people.

I'm totally taking it way too personally and I'm feeling a bit [WAY] guilty because it does look like shit and I've meant to take care of it but it seems my latest manic phase only extended so far as my water bottle holders.

I'll take her up on her offer and bake her some cookies. A few bags of mulch and some cheap plantings and I'll feel better about it.

THanks for litstening to me kvetch and moan.

Yeah, ask your landlord about it. And don't worry about it too much. As Ginger points out, you do great things in other areas - plus you don't like to garden!

I'm on the other side of a similar situation sorta, which is funny. The house two houses over from mine used to have owners who kept an absolutely beautiful garden. They did what I want to do, which is rip out about a third of the lawn beginning at the sidewalk, and plant natives and drought-resistant perrennials. They really spent a lot of time, money, and energy on their sweet garden. They sold the house about a year ago to a couple expecting a baby. They couple has had the baby, and eight months later, their front yard's gorgeous garden is really in bad shape. My neighbor Erinn, who lives in the house in the middle, is pretty upset, because they also let the side of their house go, and it's what borders Erinn's driveway.

So we were thinking of taking over a bottle of wine, a card welcoming the baby, and placing in it some home-made coupons - a couple for errands like grocery shopping, a couple for mowing their lawn, a couple of us weeding their garden, all in the spirit of "you've got a new baby and we know time (and sleep) are sacred! We'd love to help!"

But now I am wondering if the couple, whom Erinn sort of knows (she went to their open house when they moved in), would think we were just passive aggressive busy bodies. :(

I think if it were done that way, it would genuinely be looked at as helpful. I'm just ... overly sensitive cause I'm still sick and my house was messy and the dog was barking and blah blah blah. I know that if Joe and I had received a nice package like that with those coupons, I'd be all over it.

would think we were just passive aggressive busy bodies. :(

I would interpret that gesture as "We're super anal about our neighborhood and you are a constant source of irritation and annoyance to us." Also they're probably sleep deprived and a bit overwhelmed with parenting and not focused on yardwork.

I don't know - some people might welcome that gesture but I would hate it.

And really, the gesture seems to be motivated more by Erinn's upset and how it makes the neighborhood look than giving them a hand.

I know that if Joe and I had received a nice package like that with those coupons, I'd be all over it.

Really? 'cause if that's true, I want to do it. I am pretty sure it's the overwhelmingness of new baby that is keeping the couple from garden stuff. But I can say that I'd also like to just get to know them, especially now that we'll be neighbors for a good long while. Thanks for the feedback. I just don't want to be a jerk.

ETA:

I would interpret that gesture as "We're super anal about our neighborhood and you are a constant source of irritation and annoyance to us."

Really? That's extreme. No one has said it's a constant source of irritation and annoyance. We're saying we're bummed that a really beautiful garden has been overtaken with weeds. And we're not telling them to do anything about it, we're offering to do it ourselves.

I fear I would be Hec in this. I would assume I was driving the neighborhood crazy.

Really. You guys are acknowledging the fact that they are new parents and that gardening has fallen way down on the list of priorities for them, which is typical and totally justified. The fact that you guys want to help them and not just be "Clean up your shit." I would have welcomed it. My mom used to do that for our neighbors when they had new babies. She loved to garden and loved being able to help out that way so that it was one less thing they needed to worry about.

The fact that it helps the neighborhood and Erinn, just makes it win-win.

I would say to make up a nice basket, maybe with some wine - my brother and sister-in-law got some bottles called "Mommy's Night Out Chardonnay" and a "Daddy" kind, too that they loved. A card for the baby, maybe a gift card to Target or a food place, and the coupons. If they don't take you guys up on it, then it gets wierd if they get bugged about it, but I would say it would be taken as a very nice gesture.

Let's be honest, either side here is going to be hurt. I mean, we jump on whichever side is presented (currently I feel awful for Aims but I totally think it'd be a nice gesture from javachik) because, hey, friends but both sides are valid and I don't think it's a situation where there is any easy answer.