Ooh, I wanna go on the Harry Potter ride!! Luckily I am not Jilli.

Aren't there women who enjoy occasional sex with men, but still identify as lesbian rather than bisexual because women remain their primary sexual interest?

...meh. Yes, I suppose so. It was the fact that it's less "I also happen to like women" and more the specificity and the act. I dunno. I'm not sure why it startles and puzzles me so much--having a woman say she likes girls except occasionally really wants to give a blowjob? Isn't quite as weird to me?

because there's a cultural assumption that no one *enjoys* performing cunnilingus just for the fun of it and it's some kind of chore to get a partner to go down on you?

That may be true, erin. I may have been warped by society. Sigh. Stupid society.

I think it's also that most of the gay men I know are much more extreme on the kinsey scale than most of the women I know.

I've sometimes wondered if there are fewer bisexual/mid-kinsey men than women because of social pressures. Maybe it's (very arguably) more difficult for men to come out than women, for social reasons, and therefore men are more likely to come out as gay than bi. Disclaimer: I have not tested this theory under proper social-scientific conditions.

Oh, I totally believe that's part of it, Seska--while there's a certain number of women who hang out with lesbians and are loathe to call themselves bisexual due to that social pressure, it's wayyyyy less than the number of men who are strictly gay because a lot of women wouldn't date a man who says he's bisexual for fear he's really going to run off with a man. (Why is running off with a man always the expected default? Lesbians are afraid of it with bisexual women, straight women are afraid of it with bisexual men! What's up with that?)

Why is running off with a man always the expected default?

The internal feminist (who gets louder the later it gets) in me reckons it's because women are socialised to think that love and sex revolve around men.

I'm always quite amused by the (stereotypical representation of) lesbian fear that bi girls are going to run off with the nearest man. I'd be about 90% more likely to run off with a woman.

I'm surprised that the guy's BF walks in and thinks this means the guy has always been straight. If you've been having 20 years of gay sex and 2 years of straight oral sex, isn't the conclusion to leap to that the person is bi? I mean, if you're no longer letting them label themselves?

I respect the right to self-identify, but then again, there comes a point where we're not communicating efficiently anymore, because the words have so many meanings.

She was awarded best speaker for the night! Not bad given English is her second language.

Yay! Good stuff, Wallybee!

I went blonde with this one...I also like the stonework.

She's evil. I like her.

Because this shouldn't please me quite as much as it does.

Yeah, save me a seat in the special hell, then, cuz.... w00t!

"NO, Mommy." Her voice got steely. "I mean, tell me their names."

Awwwwww. What a darling!

Darius was champion racer for more than 6 years. Reaching his age, in pretty good health until the last day, was a real blessing.

A flight of angels wing thee to thy rest, Darius, and bring comfort to your humans.

Could praying types please send one up for my soon-to-be father-in-law? Fuck cancer, again, and all that. It may be urgent, or it may be another of the thousand near-emergencies that turn out not to be quite as bad as we think. I'm a mean, selfish person who's losing the plot because my wedding is ten days away. But that doesn't appear to be stopping me losing the plot over that.

Peace~ma to Seska, and The Girl. Lots of not-so-bad-as-first-thought~ma for your STBFiL. And lots of hugs.

Well, he's still on Mama's milk at 16 months grumble, grumble. I wouldn't really mind except he's still nursing like a newborn. It's kind of nuts lately.

Good to see you here, GC. My sister breast-fed all four of her boys, and was very active with her local LaLeche League, eventually becoming a leader. I had cause to pick her brain on behalf of a friend, and one of her suggestions was to set a timer, to nurse for half the time as you have been. After a few weeks, can cut the time in half again, etc. etc. Spoiler-font for unsolicited advice - no obligation to look at it if you need commiseration rather than a fix.

I've had a productive day - got a front bracket for my car, got my VT license and car registered. Wrangled with the insurance and COBRA people - evidently I was supposed to sign up with Blue Cross Blue Shield for COBRA and I will be switched over in June.

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a mess with your insurance. I hope you get it all straightened out soon so you can get your meds.

because there's a cultural assumption that no one *enjoys* performing cunnilingus just for the fun of it and it's some kind of chore to get a partner to go down on you?

...really? I both missed than memo and have been extraordinarily lucky in my choice of partners, then.

t edit Er. Sorry if that was TMI.

but NOT sorry it was TIM!