Oh, Spidra. I don't know if you are a fan of bracket hugs, but if you want them, they're yours. I've been reading all your posts about your tough situation, and though I don't always know what to say, I'm definitely listening and sympathizing. I'm sorry you're going through such a rough patch right now. I hope it turns out to be shorter than you fear.

Belive me I don't begrudge any emergency bumping me. The night I came into the ER with this I WAS that emergency.

I do feel a bit blinvisible here, smonster, but that makes it all the sweeter to see your reply!

I wish I were holding it together better. With my mom's mom's death it's a terrible time for me to be needy. OTOH, this is the culmination of at least a couple years of housing/income limbo and not being able to do what I want in my life because I've been tied up either with the disability issues or the 1/3 partner in a house issues. So I've been holding it together for a very long time now and it's kinda inevitable it would fray at some point.

That's a good point, Connie.

Sounds like a therapist is a great idea, Spidra. You have every right to be needy and to want someone to talk to, and I'm sorry your living situation makes that especially hard right now.

In the meantime, I gave my mom a gift certificate for massage 3 years ago (she has fibromyalgia and massage would be great for her). Due to her Catholic and other issues, she hasn't used it. So I'mma make an appt with that sucker. So at least if she catalyzed today's suckiness, she can help make it better. Even though she won't know that.

Nice, Spidra. It all comes around...

Oooh, a massage . . .

Did she ever sit on a knife that stuck out of her ass cheek?

Dammit, Hec, I resemble that remark. I will never live that down, not in my family, nor, apparently, on the intertubes.

Sean, Spidra, I have been there, done that with the depresso tunnel-of-doom (and probably will again.) I have to say, it keeps happening, but at least it gets shorter.

Here is my mantra, from the crankiest depresso bitch in the world:

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dotty Parker

I'm back home from the doctor.

So I am renting-to-own through my insurance company a Respironics® BiPAP® AVAPS® Noninvasive Ventilator. With added humdifier base. Final cost, before my insurance company will be about $7000. After insurance? Who can tell right now? We'll see.

Apparently it's a CPAP on steroids. It has a memory card and everything.

Oh, and a 10 inch wedge for my bed.