Did she ever sit on a knife that stuck out of her ass cheek?

Dammit, Hec, I resemble that remark. I will never live that down, not in my family, nor, apparently, on the intertubes.

Sean, Spidra, I have been there, done that with the depresso tunnel-of-doom (and probably will again.) I have to say, it keeps happening, but at least it gets shorter.

Here is my mantra, from the crankiest depresso bitch in the world:

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dotty Parker

I'm back home from the doctor.

So I am renting-to-own through my insurance company a Respironics® BiPAP® AVAPS® Noninvasive Ventilator. With added humdifier base. Final cost, before my insurance company will be about $7000. After insurance? Who can tell right now? We'll see.

Apparently it's a CPAP on steroids. It has a memory card and everything.

Oh, and a 10 inch wedge for my bed.

Yeah, C/BPAPs ain't cheap. And be careful of your mask, because they can be pricy to replace if your insurance doesn't have a deal for one free mask a year.

Spidra, I see you, but I have been bad about responding to people lately.

I bet the Germans have emoticons for those feelings.

Yeah, but they'd just be three or four separate emoticons joined together.

I find my reaction to almost everything is covered by @@.

I've found that applies to emus too.

People, please remind me that, next time I buy a large piece of furniture, I should pay the extra to have people assemble it. I take way too much pride in "I can figure out all the symbols and instructions that confuse other people, and I know how to use tools," and it makes me think that hiring people to assemble things is like saying that I can't do it. I can do it, but I'm still in pain two days later, and it's really not worth it. I really need to get over these issues -- I have no problem with hiring people to just lift and move things, but when it comes to assembling things, my pride gets in the way.

I was all curious about what ita type news was...and then I saw what you guys think me type news is, and I don't even know anymore.

Except....JGL! Yes, let that be me type news, and stat.

Years ago I got a Futon couch. The salesman tried to talk me out of paying for assembly. "Why throw away $50 bucks" he said. I went ahead and paid for assembly, wondering why the salesman pushed so hard against an addition to the sale. The couch showed up with assembly specialists. The full sized couch was in bags that could litterally be carried in one hand (other than the futon itself. The assemblers dumped out what looked like hundreds of parts. And the two guys who were experienced enough not to have to glance at the instructions because they'd put so many of this model together took 2.5 hours of labor (with no pauses to rest) to put the thing to together. I can't imagine the nightmare of one klutzy person doing it with instructions badly translated from the Korean or whatever.

So definitely, get the stuff assembled from now on.

so many people have thoughts that they're just being tolerated

I also have that fear that no one really likes me and everyone's just tolerating me. But you know, it occurs to me that sometimes I myself am just tolerating the presence of someone I actually love very much. For example, my sister goes on and on and repeats herself over and over; I zone out and wish she would shut up. But my sister is a wonderful person, I enjoy her company, and I fear the day I might have to live without her. And I know her well enough to know why she does it, which helps a lot with the tolerating. Occasionally being annoyed by someone doesn't mean not loving them. *Everyone's* annoying in some way. And the longer I live alone, the more annoying I'm surely becoming...

Ellipses are annoying, right?

This coupled with feeling pretty invisible in the various fora in which I participate has got me about this close to a meltdown moment.

FWIW, I read everything you say, Spidra. You're not invisible. I totally feel for you; I was in a situation much like yours 15 years ago. If I were on the right coast, I'd offer you my spare bedroom for a respite.