Oh, Maria. I wish it had been better news.
Welcome to the Hellmouth petting zoo.
Buffy ,'Beneath You'
Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Ginger - Mar 15, 2011 7:36:29 am PDT #17624 of 30000
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
Steph L. - Mar 15, 2011 7:38:17 am PDT #17625 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
Ack, I didn't mean to x-post over Maria's news. My thoughts and prayers are with your family, especially your uncle and your dad, and YOU.
Scrappy - Mar 15, 2011 7:43:58 am PDT #17626 of 30000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
What Teppy said.
Maria - Mar 15, 2011 7:45:34 am PDT #17627 of 30000
Not so nice is that I'm about to ruin a Friday morning for a bunch of people because of a series of unfortunate events and an upset foreign government. - shrift
I'm just kind of numb. I'm almost paralyzed by the thought of losing him, and then I feel silly because I should be stronger than that. I've been weepy at the most inopportune times and I'm creating excuses in my head why I can't go see him. I just don't want to watch him deteriorate. I want to remember him as he was before this.
And that sucks. I'm better than that, and I'm no coward. I feel like shit for even entertaining these thoughts.
Burrell - Mar 15, 2011 7:48:33 am PDT #17628 of 30000
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
Oh Maria, please don't be so hard on yourself. There aren't any "shoulds" when it comes to grieving. Everyone grieves in her own way.
Zenkitty - Mar 15, 2011 7:56:46 am PDT #17629 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
I just don't want to watch him deteriorate. I want to remember him as he was before this.
If it's any help at all, after watching my mother's deterioration for years, I still remember her the way she was before she got sick. It hurts like hell, no lie, but if you see him now, you'll still remember his whole life. I'm so sorry for your uncle, and sorry you and your family have to go through this.
Teppy, you're holding it together like a *champ*, you really are. And you're nice enough to put pillows on the sofa for him! Soon he will be gone, and his little dog, too.
Barb - Mar 15, 2011 7:59:38 am PDT #17630 of 30000
“Not dead yet!”
Tep, Tim is absolutely doing the right thing.
Maria, my heart hurts for you and your family. All of my thoughts are with you right now.
hippocampus - Mar 15, 2011 8:01:03 am PDT #17631 of 30000
not your mom's socks.
Maria, I'm wishing you and your family strength, and that you allow yourself to grieve on your own terms, not based on how you think you should feel. Much comfort to your father, to your uncle, especially, but also to you.
DavidS - Mar 15, 2011 8:01:29 am PDT #17632 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
That's sad, Maria. I've always been grateful for the time I had with my mom at the end of her life. She was dying of cancer and had a stroke and was emaciated and looked terrible. But it meant so much to her to just have the people she loved around her. Just sitting on the bed with her and holding her hand. She knew she was loved and that's really a lot at the end.
Tep, soon your long national nightmare will be over. Then I strongly suggest you look over your finances and find a way to treat yourself for a couple weeks. Because you need to make an investment in Teppy's Well being.
Maria - Mar 15, 2011 8:03:07 am PDT #17633 of 30000
Not so nice is that I'm about to ruin a Friday morning for a bunch of people because of a series of unfortunate events and an upset foreign government. - shrift
Everyone grieves in her own way.
All I want to do is run away and not deal. That's not grieving; that's avoidance.
It's like I'm feeling too much and I don't know how to make the deluge stop. Then add anger because I can't fucking "deal," and I'm caught in a loop. Curling up in a ball is not an option.