I wonder if you were so open to that experience, that you got your natural shielding blown wide open. But lots of extremely sensitive, empathic people get "crowd sick". For some, stronger shielding is the answer, for others, it is better to simply avoid. And of course, I don't think the same answers will apply for one person throughout the span of time. What works one year, may not the next.

Joe and I were talking about this further and it seems to him, and I tend to agree, that my particular brand of shielding is to become drunk and then move to being THE MOST SOCIAL EVER. Not neccessarily a great strategy, but the one that I have stumbled upon that works. But the social anxiety that Nora spoke of - What did I *do*? Oh God, what did I *say*? - comes back and bites me later. I've been known to email people after and apologize for things that bother me intensely but the "victim" of my effusiveness has no idea about. Another one I do is overly try to show whomever I'm interacting with that I can relate to them because I *know* things about them because of some small experience I havethat they might relate to. Like, Vortex ought to really like me and find me engaging because I have met other black women before! It's so incredibly stupid. And then I feel stupid for doing it and clam up and stop interacting.

People must do this in front of me all the time. I hear about everyone's crip co-workers and relations on an alarming basis. I only wish I had that gift like Jackie O and Obama...making people comfortable and such. But I'm not scary.

One of my happiest memories is being in New York at the south end of Times Square at sunset, watching the neon come on. A central Manhattan crowd swirled around me--but I was not interacting with anyone and only a couple of people glanced at me, wondering what that grinning woman leaning against the wall was up to. It freaks Hubby out that I can be in a crowd and still separate from it, because he wants to connect with the people.

I am an unrepentant street-greeter, I love chatting with strangers, I really enjoy having one or two people over for British tv and noshes...but once I have expended my social resources, lordy, I MUST be alone. When I am down or ill, I can't bear having others around. In fact, there are entire days when I speak to no one but Bartleby and I'm totally okay with that.

Yeah, this is pretty much me. I am not shy at all (usually) but when I am done, I am DONE, do not disturb, leave me the fuck alone, GET OUT GET OUT GETOUT! I am pretty notorious among my friends for saying "I don't want to be around people tonight; I'm not going out" or just deciding, ok, I'm done, good night, I love you all but I am going home now to read in my underwear.

Some days, after teaching all day, I am tapped out. i walk in and I tell Dan that I am foul to be around, and that I am going to go upstairs and be alone. I can't abide ANY social interaction, except that on the net, and *I* control the amount of interaction I do, and I can shut the lid and stop it at any time.

DH has massive social anxiety that really mirrors what a lot of you all are saying, and I am still in the process of finding out what makes him go all ARRRGGHHH! THE PEOPLE!

A friend of mine reminded me that I signed up for a living social spa deal last fall, and that the deadline was coming up in the middle of this month. Apparently everyone else remembered this week, too, because they don't have an opening until May unless I want to take time off work for it (which I don't). Eh, that's what I get for putting it off for three months. Some time in May I'm gonna have a really nice Saturday afternoon.

my particular brand of shielding is to become drunk and then move to being THE MOST SOCIAL EVER. Not neccessarily a great strategy, but the one that I have stumbled upon that works. But the social anxiety that Nora spoke of - What did I *do*? Oh God, what did I *say*? - comes back and bites me later. I've been known to email people after and apologize for things that bother me intensely but the "victim" of my effusiveness has no idea about.

In this, we are twins.

Another one I do is overly try to show whomever I'm interacting with that I can relate to them because I *know* things about them because of some small experience I have that they might relate to.

HA! Yeah. I've been a lot more conscious about this since moving to the South and I really, really try to check myself. (Well, I've gotten called on it a few times, which helps with the self-awareness) Working every day in an office where everyone except me is a woman of color, though, helps- it normalizes my experience and downplays that impulse.

But brain and heart, they don't quite connect they way they should.

I have the same problem. I just keep repeating to myself and hope that someday the heart will get the idea. Hasn't worked yet, but I keep hoping.

But Aims, I could totally tell when we met that you'd known Jamaican women before. Totally.

Ahem.

But the social anxiety that Nora spoke of - What did I *do*? Oh God, what did I *say*? - comes back and bites me later

Hahah. Not that I just posted here about doing that ridiculous and awkward too friendly drunk thing on Saturday night or anything!

I am pretty extroverted, but when I am done with people, I am done, and I leave and go be somewhere for a while.

Me too! it's why I often room alone at the F2F. I love you all, but when I need to be alone, I NEED to be alone. I get cranky otherwise (apologies to my awesome roommates in Seattle, juliana and smonster for when I just got super bitchy and sensitive out of nowhere).