Marco: Do we look reasonable to you? Mal: Well. Looks can be deceiving. Jayne: Not as deceiving as a low down dirty... deceiver.

'Out Of Gas'


Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Ginger - Jan 04, 2011 5:12:51 pm PST #12379 of 30000
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

~ma to Andi and Daniel. Now I'm going to worry until we here something.

I'm so sorry, Laura.


DavidS - Jan 04, 2011 5:45:04 pm PST #12380 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

I hope Andi's okay. -ma aplenty.

That's tough news, Laura. You really deserve to have some rainbows and unicorns and sugar cookies type news, I think. It's not been the easiest year for you.

I am here to declare my love for angel hair pasta. Sure, I've gone on flings with rotini and fettucine before, and straight up spaghetti. But when you're cooking mushrooms in olive oil and butter with a dash of sherry, and you toss in some seitan and kalamata olives and pepper flakes and baby spinach leaves, well then angel hair is the way to go.


SailAweigh - Jan 04, 2011 5:49:23 pm PST #12381 of 30000
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb

David, that does sound very tasty.

Laura, much doggy~ma for Brandy.


Vortex - Jan 04, 2011 6:15:46 pm PST #12382 of 30000
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman

smonster, the best thing that you can do with a hair trigger temper is to remain calm and remember that you are in the right. Do not let her get you upset or make you doubt what she needs to hear. Stay firm and on message. If she interrupts, let her finish, listen, take a beat and say "we'll address that later, but as I was saying . . ." and continue with what you were saying. If she continues to do it, then you need to stop and say "I need for you to listen to what I'm saying and think about it. I promise that you will have an opportunity to respond, but right now, I going to finish what I have to say and you will listen. Do you understand?"

Try to make firm statements as often you can. If you say "Okay?" at the end of a statement, it suggests that there is an option, and there isn't here. You want them to be on board, but you also have to be in charge.


beth b - Jan 04, 2011 6:46:13 pm PST #12383 of 30000
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!

short declarative statements. keep your voice quiet. and as vortex says, stay on message. and act like you have all the time in the world. the only purpose you have is to convey a message to her.

and all the ma~~~~ I can send to Andi. let us know more when you can


Liese S. - Jan 04, 2011 7:29:21 pm PST #12384 of 30000
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

Yup agree with all of the above. And most importantly, this is exactly why you`re doing the work you`re doing. a traditional employer would not be able to respond to her favorably, but you can. You can bring her to the point of understanding what is and isn`t appropriate workplace behaviour and help her to build a better future.
 
That said, don`t worry too much if it goes badly. It`s a rough situation. Try to think about it from her point of view. It`s really hard to hear criticism about yourself and it`s a journey to learn to accept it with grace. It`s also scary coming from you, a person in authority. She may have learned in her life experiences that the best way to protect herself is to accuse others. She wants to protect her image and her job and needs to learn that she can accept criticism and grow and improve. Odds are her long term goals and intents are what you want for her too, and you have an opportunity to help her realize that.


Shir - Jan 04, 2011 7:29:33 pm PST #12385 of 30000
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".

Good luck with new doctor tomorrow, sj.

{{Laura}}

And Andi, buckets. Buckets on buckets on buckets of ~ma, heading in your direction.

smonster, I got nothing to add (partly because I haven't drank my coffee yet), but I'm sending some ~ma in your direction as well.


DCJensen - Jan 04, 2011 7:37:49 pm PST #12386 of 30000
All is well that ends in pizza.

I spoke to Andrea, she appreciates the hopes and prayers and ~ma.

I have to go an try and sleep now, They won't let me talk to her until 7:30 am, now.

I am NOT going to work tomorrow. I've left two messages for my boss, and got no response. I'll try to call again in the Am, but I'll be damned if I'm going to go to work when Andi needs me.

I may be job hunting soon.


Liese S. - Jan 04, 2011 7:58:19 pm PST #12387 of 30000
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

Oh, Daniel, how hard. Yeah, screw the boss. You have a priority right now and it is not them. Lots of ~ma for her and for you.


Burrell - Jan 04, 2011 8:02:26 pm PST #12388 of 30000
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!

Oh dear, lots of ~ma and warm thoughts to both you and Andi, DCJ.