Buffy: Dancing with you is way better than trying to hook up with some good-looking guy. Xander: I think I liked it more when you were kicking me in my puffy groin.

'Get It Done'


Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Liese S. - Jan 04, 2011 7:29:21 pm PST #12384 of 30000
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

Yup agree with all of the above. And most importantly, this is exactly why you`re doing the work you`re doing. a traditional employer would not be able to respond to her favorably, but you can. You can bring her to the point of understanding what is and isn`t appropriate workplace behaviour and help her to build a better future.
 
That said, don`t worry too much if it goes badly. It`s a rough situation. Try to think about it from her point of view. It`s really hard to hear criticism about yourself and it`s a journey to learn to accept it with grace. It`s also scary coming from you, a person in authority. She may have learned in her life experiences that the best way to protect herself is to accuse others. She wants to protect her image and her job and needs to learn that she can accept criticism and grow and improve. Odds are her long term goals and intents are what you want for her too, and you have an opportunity to help her realize that.


Shir - Jan 04, 2011 7:29:33 pm PST #12385 of 30000
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".

Good luck with new doctor tomorrow, sj.

{{Laura}}

And Andi, buckets. Buckets on buckets on buckets of ~ma, heading in your direction.

smonster, I got nothing to add (partly because I haven't drank my coffee yet), but I'm sending some ~ma in your direction as well.


DCJensen - Jan 04, 2011 7:37:49 pm PST #12386 of 30000
All is well that ends in pizza.

I spoke to Andrea, she appreciates the hopes and prayers and ~ma.

I have to go an try and sleep now, They won't let me talk to her until 7:30 am, now.

I am NOT going to work tomorrow. I've left two messages for my boss, and got no response. I'll try to call again in the Am, but I'll be damned if I'm going to go to work when Andi needs me.

I may be job hunting soon.


Liese S. - Jan 04, 2011 7:58:19 pm PST #12387 of 30000
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

Oh, Daniel, how hard. Yeah, screw the boss. You have a priority right now and it is not them. Lots of ~ma for her and for you.


Burrell - Jan 04, 2011 8:02:26 pm PST #12388 of 30000
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!

Oh dear, lots of ~ma and warm thoughts to both you and Andi, DCJ.


Beverly - Jan 04, 2011 10:48:24 pm PST #12389 of 30000
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

All the good thoughts in the world for Andi, and for you too, Daniel. Please keep us informed--as much as you can.

What Vortex and Liese said, smonster. The thing you need to get across is that the boss or the supervisor has the power in the situation, and lashing out only alienates the person with power, and ends employment on the spot. It isn't being a wuss to acknowledge power.

Bonnie, it's so good to hear Nikki is adapting well, and her daughter is indeed a gem.

Ginger, I'm so sorry to hear Tammy's load isn't lightening. Many good wishes for her and hopes for improvement in the way things are going.

And to end on an up note, Welcome Baby Girl! Aeryn, your family has been waiting with such eager anticipation to welcome you! Your parents have had plenty of practice on your older brother, and you'll have Dylan to show you the ropes as you get older. This is going to be a fun ride, and we're all glad you're here!


Calli - Jan 05, 2011 1:05:10 am PST #12390 of 30000
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs

Much ~ma to Andi.

I'm sorry, Laura.

smonster, the ideas above sound good to me. I haven't really been in a position of authority over anyone except for a few semesters of teaching, so I don't have much to add.


smonster - Jan 05, 2011 1:50:10 am PST #12391 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

DCJ, continued ~ma in truckloads and boatloads to WindSparrow, and please let us know more when you can, and what we can do. I'm beaming ~ma like a Care Bear Stare in her direction.

Thank you so, so much everyone. I think that part of her problem is that she lets her frustration build and gets more and more passive aggressive until she explodes. So I'm going to start by trying to unearth what those were yesterday and then address them one by one. I do need to come to terms with the fact that she just may not take it well, or be able to hear what I have to say. I have this tendency to think that if I say things just right, I'll get the result I want. It's a sneaky old conviction that I've been battling for years.


Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Jan 05, 2011 1:54:01 am PST #12392 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

Huge amounts of ~ma for Andi.


Jessica - Jan 05, 2011 2:50:30 am PST #12393 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

If you say "Okay?" at the end of a statement, it suggests that there is an option, and there isn't here.

Ending sentences with "ok?" was one of the hardest things to unlearn as a parent, but it really does make a huge difference! Just not offering that invitation to argue changes the whole tone of the conversation.

~ma headed Andi-wards.