I hope everything goes well tomorrow, sj.
Laura, good thoughts for Brandy and I'm sorry about your coworker/friend's loss.
I've been trying to go to sleep for 45 min, including taking benedryl an hour ago. I think I need to switch to decaf. The fact that I can't stop thinking about the talk I need to have with that trainee tomorrow is not helping. Anyone have strategies for dealing with hair trigger tempers? I am conflict avoidy so I tend to... avoid. Which I'm not sure is the best course in this case.
Much, much all-purpose ~ma to Andi, to be applied as needed.
And smonster hugs, but no advice, as I am also conflict-avoidy and hair-trigger tempers make me break out in hives and cold sores.
~ma for Andi.
May the new doctor have new solutions that alleviate your pain.
What Laura said.
And I am sorry to hear that Brandi is declining. It's so hard.
~ma to Andi and Daniel. Now I'm going to worry until we here something.
I'm so sorry, Laura.
I hope Andi's okay. -ma aplenty.
That's tough news, Laura. You really deserve to have some rainbows and unicorns and sugar cookies type news, I think. It's not been the easiest year for you.
I am here to declare my love for angel hair pasta. Sure, I've gone on flings with rotini and fettucine before, and straight up spaghetti. But when you're cooking mushrooms in olive oil and butter with a dash of sherry, and you toss in some seitan and kalamata olives and pepper flakes and baby spinach leaves, well then angel hair is the way to go.
David, that does sound very tasty.
Laura, much doggy~ma for Brandy.
smonster, the best thing that you can do with a hair trigger temper is to remain calm and remember that you are in the right. Do not let her get you upset or make you doubt what she needs to hear. Stay firm and on message. If she interrupts, let her finish, listen, take a beat and say "we'll address that later, but as I was saying . . ." and continue with what you were saying. If she continues to do it, then you need to stop and say "I need for you to listen to what I'm saying and think about it. I promise that you will have an opportunity to respond, but right now, I going to finish what I have to say and you will listen. Do you understand?"
Try to make firm statements as often you can. If you say "Okay?" at the end of a statement, it suggests that there is an option, and there isn't here. You want them to be on board, but you also have to be in charge.
short declarative statements. keep your voice quiet. and as vortex says, stay on message. and act like you have all the time in the world. the only purpose you have is to convey a message to her.
and all the ma~~~~ I can send to Andi. let us know more when you can
Yup agree with all of the above. And most importantly, this is exactly why you`re doing the work you`re doing. a traditional employer would not be able to respond to her favorably, but you can. You can bring her to the point of understanding what is and isn`t appropriate workplace behaviour and help her to build a better future.
That said, don`t worry too much if it goes badly. It`s a rough situation. Try to think about it from her point of view. It`s really hard to hear criticism about yourself and it`s a journey to learn to accept it with grace. It`s also scary coming from you, a person in authority. She may have learned in her life experiences that the best way to protect herself is to accuse others. She wants to protect her image and her job and needs to learn that she can accept criticism and grow and improve. Odds are her long term goals and intents are what you want for her too, and you have an opportunity to help her realize that.
