Some of those reasons are just shittastic, is all.

Yeah, but it's implied that there is a good reason, isn't it?

I think that *is* the implication, yeah, but I like to be a smartass and reply to people's platitudes with things like "Sure, but some of the reasons are shittastic."

I don't play well with others.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

I always think of that when I'm up before dawn, in a musing about the conditions under which it is literally true way. It's always coldest before the dawn is more often true, I suspect. Though I am assuming, in my interpretation, that "before" means "just before". It is almost always darker before dawn than after dawn, I suppose.

What's that line? Optimists believe we live in the best of all possible worlds, pessimists fear that that is so. Something like that.

When you assume, you make an ass of you and me.

Oh, that one totally makes me stabby.

One of my friends had a crazy boss who used to lecture the staff about how, "Whenever you point a finger of blame at someone else, always remember you've got four more fingers pointing at yourself." Which is simultaneously homicide-inducingly irritating, factually wrong (really? Your thumb is pointing back at you? What kind of freak are you?), and in his case incredibly hypocritical since he was also constantly flying into rages of blaming everyone on the planet but himself for his crappy business.

I always thought it was meant more along the lines of "the reason will have meaning," at some point.

Yeah, I think that's even worse. I don't think anyone ever says, "My son died, but now I understand it was to teach me {whatever, I can't even finish the sentence}..."

You know what platitude is true, though? Bacon makes everything better. Tonight's example? Half-assed corn chowder. I am so much better at half-assed soups than almost any other food category.

"Whenever you point a finger of blame at someone else, always remember you've got four more fingers pointing at yourself." Which is simultaneously homicide-inducingly irritating, factually wrong (really? Your thumb is pointing back at you? What kind of freak are you?)

Did anyone else just point their finger to see what the thumb on that hand did?

Now I want bacon.

Yeah, I think that's even worse. I don't think anyone ever says, "My son died, but now I understand it was to teach me {whatever, I can't even finish the sentence}..."

I think it's absolutely awful, but I've known people who absolutely meant it that way.

One of my friends had a crazy boss who used to lecture the staff about how, "Whenever you point a finger of blame at someone else, always remember you've got four more fingers pointing at yourself."

I taught that to my family recently! Except with three fingers, because I'm not an idiot. But I was doing it as a joke.

"Whenever you point a finger of blame at someone else, always remember you've got four more fingers pointing at yourself."

Yeah, that makes no sense. If that were true, it wouldn't make any sense for anyone to blame anyone else for anything.

Did anyone else just point their finger to see what the thumb on that hand did?

Just in my head.

God will never give you anything you can't handle.

FUCK YOU.