sj, btdt..."Boundaries, they're nice..." Which probably helps me look scary and standoffish.

Well, yeah. Men are a different story. But they don't care whether or not I like them, if they feel like talking to me, they just will, no matter what kind of vibe I'm giving off (the asshole ones anyway). But that's sorta part and parcel of male privilege innit?

(I had to gently 'splain to hubby, who is often like a big puppy when it comes to talking to new people, that the woman who steadfastly ignored him and drove away quickly when he tried to get her to roll down her window to tell her her back windshield wiper was falling off, was not being paranoid or rude, she legitimately gets to ask herself, "Is this dude going to attack/assault me.")

"Sure, no problem," and went back to my office. She later told someone else that she wasn't going to ask me to babysit again, because she thought that my reaction to her thank you was so unenthusiastic that I must be mad at her for wasting my time with babysitting.

Oh! oh! I know this one! I have trouble with this all the time. You're supposed to say, "No! It was absolutely my pleasure! You are so welcome!" or something like that.

I know. Bugs the crap out of me too. Dude, I said it was no problem.

billytea-- I can understand your reaction to that, it's what a lot of people think. But this person keeps saying things like "antidepressants = chemical lobotomies" and then "no that's not what I meant I meant this other thing" and then also saying that because there's no cure for mental illness and the medicines are "suspect" no one should take them. She's also making the same assertions for HIV/AIDS.

Which reminds me of my Fake Security Expert Boyfriend Gavin de Becker.He likes to point out that there is no government-funded organization of dudes watching to make sure you get your groceries in.

I know. Bugs the crap out of me too. Dude, I said it was no problem.

I know! Please don't throw your passive aggressive bullshit on me. Just because you would do something that you don't want to and indicate it by your response to the thank you doesn't mean that I will.

She's also making the same assertions for HIV/AIDS.

My HIV pos gay boyfriend and I would like to punch her repeatedly.

Personally I don't want to live in her world which seems to consist of "all authority must be distrusted because it's authority. All medicines except some pain killers and antibiotics are unnecessary and just for drug companies to make money. And they probably lied about stuff. And doctors don't know anything and can't really help patients. And anyone who is in a position of authority is probably lying anyway because they think they know stuff but they don't. Because they can't know everything about their field so obviously they don't know anything."

My preference is to say "you're welcome" rather than "no problem" because of the implication the latter has that there might have been a problem. Which, I admit, is ridiculous and pretty much makes me a stodgy ole lady. I know they actually mean pretty much the same thing, but I like the sound of "welcome" more than I like the sound of "problem".

signed,

stodgy old lady

(which is not to say that I am passive aggressive and weird and would be so upset that I'd never "let" you have the pleasure of babysitting my younguns if I had some)

I know! Please don't throw your passive aggressive bullshit on me. Just because you would do something that you don't want to and indicate it by your response to the thank you doesn't mean that I will.

Exactly.

I know that I've got some mild Asperger's tendencies. One of them is that social small talk is really difficult for me. Saying things I don't really mean -- like "I'm fine" in response to "How are you?" when I'm really not fine, or "Nice to see you" to somebody I really didn't want to see -- does not come naturally. I know how to follow those sorts of rules for situations when I have to, but I am not going to waste time with lying to a friend.