billytea-- I can understand your reaction to that, it's what a lot of people think. But this person keeps saying things like "antidepressants = chemical lobotomies" and then "no that's not what I meant I meant this other thing" and then also saying that because there's no cure for mental illness and the medicines are "suspect" no one should take them. She's also making the same assertions for HIV/AIDS.

Which reminds me of my Fake Security Expert Boyfriend Gavin de Becker.He likes to point out that there is no government-funded organization of dudes watching to make sure you get your groceries in.

I know. Bugs the crap out of me too. Dude, I said it was no problem.

I know! Please don't throw your passive aggressive bullshit on me. Just because you would do something that you don't want to and indicate it by your response to the thank you doesn't mean that I will.

She's also making the same assertions for HIV/AIDS.

My HIV pos gay boyfriend and I would like to punch her repeatedly.

Personally I don't want to live in her world which seems to consist of "all authority must be distrusted because it's authority. All medicines except some pain killers and antibiotics are unnecessary and just for drug companies to make money. And they probably lied about stuff. And doctors don't know anything and can't really help patients. And anyone who is in a position of authority is probably lying anyway because they think they know stuff but they don't. Because they can't know everything about their field so obviously they don't know anything."

My preference is to say "you're welcome" rather than "no problem" because of the implication the latter has that there might have been a problem. Which, I admit, is ridiculous and pretty much makes me a stodgy ole lady. I know they actually mean pretty much the same thing, but I like the sound of "welcome" more than I like the sound of "problem".

signed,

stodgy old lady

(which is not to say that I am passive aggressive and weird and would be so upset that I'd never "let" you have the pleasure of babysitting my younguns if I had some)

I know! Please don't throw your passive aggressive bullshit on me. Just because you would do something that you don't want to and indicate it by your response to the thank you doesn't mean that I will.

Exactly.

I know that I've got some mild Asperger's tendencies. One of them is that social small talk is really difficult for me. Saying things I don't really mean -- like "I'm fine" in response to "How are you?" when I'm really not fine, or "Nice to see you" to somebody I really didn't want to see -- does not come naturally. I know how to follow those sorts of rules for situations when I have to, but I am not going to waste time with lying to a friend.

In general, when I say no problem, there's also a weird thank you. Like, for grabbing someone a latte while I'm getting my morning coffee, I get, "OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS LIKE THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME, AND YOU HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY DOWN THE ELEVATOR TO TO IT YOU ARE SO AWESOME!"

And so I say, "No problem, really"

And so I say, "No problem, really"

Me too, and then roll my eyes once I turn my head. ;)

I HATE weirdly effusive thank-yous.

she legitimately gets to ask herself, "Is this dude going to attack/assault me."

I try to explain this to my father, except no one ever doesn't talk to him, so he doesn't believe me. He had a young woman pick him up in the rain on the side of the street and give him a ride to a hotel one of the last times he came and stayed with me. He somehow failed to understand that black men aren't even supposed to be able to get cabs, much less rides from nubile white women who express regret they don't have time to take him all the way to the airport.

And then there's Colin.

But it's never guys like them I'm trying to scare off. Colin and my father don't have male privilege issues. They have centre-of-the-world issues. Took me a while to realise that in my father's case.

eta: I say "no problem" because I'm Jamaican. Everyone can bite me.