I'm with Fred on the sitcom thing. That dialogue is priceless. And painful.
I'm not going to actually ask my boss since I don't intend to go, and I don't want to have any actual truth to be lying about
But see, P-C? Your ARE telling the truth.
Here is the thing about the truth. Somehow, we need it to hurt to actually be valid. BUT, your normal work schedule is just as valid a reason as some major project. I mean, you don't have to go into detail...and you shouldn't...but if you like the flow of your routine to not get backed up or stressed out because you've taken time off that will not relax you then the TRUTH is, your work schedule does not allow for travel at this time. Period.
A thought replacement phrase I use with my clients all the time: Step away from the details, and nobody gets hurt.
I use this all the time for social/professional/community stuff I'm not excited about doing. My response is, "I have another obligation." This is wholly and completely true, even when that obligation is to my own relaxation and rejuvenation so that I can be at my best for the ton of other stuff an AM excited about doing. The fact that this might include coloring my hair or vegging on the floor with my dog is not the business of the inquiring party.
Have no guilt, use fewer words.
The more words we add, the more fear/pain we are trying to protect ourselves or others from. Usually, there is no need!
"No" is a complete sentence.
erika, I am SO going to use that deBecker quote. Thanks for that.
eta: Badly timed crosspost with PC which illustrates that he did not need me to make my point. It's a point in its own right though, so I will leave it.
It could be really good as a two man show -- esp. If you could play up the similarities.
I made my preliminary list for clean all the things week. It is scary. But part of the list is a major project ( or three) Which might not happen. and most of the list is small tiny little projects that will take less than half an hour
Here is the thing about the truth. Somehow, we need it to hurt to actually be valid. BUT, your normal work schedule is just as valid a reason as some major project. I mean, you don't have to go into detail...and you shouldn't...but if you like the flow of your routine to not get backed up or stressed out because you've taken time off that will not relax you then the TRUTH is, your work schedule does not allow for travel at this time. Period.
A thought replacement phrase I use with my clients all the time: Step away from the details, and nobody gets hurt.
I use this all the time for social/professional/community stuff I'm not excited about doing. My response is, "I have another obligation." This is wholly and completely true, even when that obligation is to my own relaxation and rejuvenation so that I can be at my best for the ton of other stuff an AM excited about doing. The fact that this might include coloring my hair or vegging on the floor with my dog is not the business of the inquiring party.
It is how I try to think but so well expressed that I had to copy it
My response is, "I have another obligation."
A very valuable phrase when a freelancer. You must use that on all occasions, so when you schedule a vacation, you don't accidentally add, "I'm on vacation at that time".
Badly timed crosspost with PC which illustrates that he did not need me to make my point. It's a point in its own right though, so I will leave it.
It is a good point, thank you! I appreciate it. Here, I will give you a bonus exchange:
"We have to get this document out by the end of the year so we can meet our corporate goals."
"You're really that important, huh?"
"I'm glad you think so highly of me."
"That's not what I meant! You're just talking like if you left, the whole company would fall apart."
<facepalm>
As my brother noted, "Mexican would have been the WORST."
("How many times did we tell you when you were growing up, no BMW?" my dad told him last week in all seriousness, as if he were truly saddened and dismayed that his attempt to instill his racist values in us had failed. [BMW = Black, Mexican, Muslim, and White.])
P-C, your parents depress me. I hate hearing about that level of bigotry.
P-C, your parents depress me. I hate hearing about that level of bigotry.
And yet it's heartening to see how completely and utterly they've failed to pass it down to the next generation. I think of how hugely my parents loomed in my childhood world, how large they still loom, how vast and universal we are to Matilda...it's brutally hard, heroic work to push back against all that, carve out your own vision for yourself and a different way of seeing and connecting to the world around you, and stand up for it and stay strong when the blowback comes.
That dialogue is priceless. And painful.
Some truly great sitcoms did both, and then some. M*A*S*H could do it brilliantly.
