P-C, your parents depress me. I hate hearing about that level of bigotry.

P-C, your parents depress me. I hate hearing about that level of bigotry.

And yet it's heartening to see how completely and utterly they've failed to pass it down to the next generation. I think of how hugely my parents loomed in my childhood world, how large they still loom, how vast and universal we are to Matilda...it's brutally hard, heroic work to push back against all that, carve out your own vision for yourself and a different way of seeing and connecting to the world around you, and stand up for it and stay strong when the blowback comes.

That dialogue is priceless. And painful.

Some truly great sitcoms did both, and then some. M*A*S*H could do it brilliantly.

Yep, you're right, JZ.

And yet it's heartening to see how completely and utterly they've failed to pass it down to the next generation.

I wouldn't say "completely and utterly." But I am at least conscious of my unconscious racism and prejudices and don't intend to let it continue further.

One of the ideas I've been fascinated with recently is the fact that, growing up, you only know the world that is presented to you. That is what you think is normal, the Way Things Are. And your parents are the people who present the world to you and tell you the Way Things Are. It can be quite a shock to discover that your experience and views are not universal.

the fact that, growing up, you only know the world that is presented to you. That is what you think is normal, the Way Things Are. And your parents are the people who present the world to you and tell you the Way Things Are.

It's one of the reasons that children who are abused don't tell anyone - they thinks it's "normal" because for them, it is.

Definitely, JZ. My parents were racist, particularly my mom, but it's hard for me to hold much animosity in my heart for a woman who has been dead for twenty years now, and who, above all, raised me to think for myself.

In addition to that, she had two gorgeous, smart multiracial grandchildren. She may not have approved of my brother's marriage, but she went to the wedding, and babysat for those kids, and she didn't live to see it, but they grew up to vote for Obama, whom they identified with in ways that I can only imagine.

But I am at least conscious of my unconscious racism and prejudices and don't intend to let it continue further.

One of the ideas I've been fascinated with recently is the fact that, growing up, you only know the world that is presented to you. That is what you think is normal, the Way Things Are. And your parents are the people who present the world to you and tell you the Way Things Are. It can be quite a shock to discover that your experience and views are not universal.

This is so true, P-C. This is something my brothers and I have spent a lot of time thinking about and struggling with in our own ways, with a generational divide between us. I think my brothers had a lot of trouble dealing with my parents as adults because of their racism. I never had to deal with my parents in such a complex way.

I'm kind of grateful that my father died before I learned of any possible bigotries or such. I can maintain my probably idealized version of him in my head.

You're welcome, bonny. He is very quotable...my other favorite being "Charm is a verb."

yesterday, my glasses fell apart. I had to walk a few blocks to get to a spot where Matt could meet me with my fixed glasses. Interesting - I couldn't see people well enough to see skin color ( unless they were right next to me ) . nor age, or anything about them. If the world was nearsighted ,things might be a little different.