All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!

Buffy ,'Same Time, Same Place'


Spike's Bitches 45: That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Steph L. - Nov 12, 2009 10:38:15 am PST #292 of 30000
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

"kickin' it with my ninjas"

Okay, that's AWESOME.


§ ita § - Nov 12, 2009 10:40:26 am PST #293 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

"kickin' it with my ninjas"

You know there are ninjitsu practitioners screaming "STOP IT!" right now, right?


Glamcookie - Nov 12, 2009 10:41:28 am PST #294 of 30000
I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say I am like no one in the whole world. - Anne Lister

Please explain to me how racial/ethnic slurs are a benefit to language and communication. Seriously, I can't wait.

Well, I can see it in writing fiction. What if you want to portray someone as a racist asshole?


Zenkitty - Nov 12, 2009 10:43:28 am PST #295 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

And now YOU'RE making me think, dang it!

Sorry!

"kickin' it with my ninjas"

This is fantastic.

You know there are ninjitsu practitioners screaming "STOP IT!" right now, right?

Still, there's no way "ninja" is going to become an insult in this culture.


smonster - Nov 12, 2009 10:44:19 am PST #296 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

Hec, I appreciate your long and considered response. I'm still curious about the "gypped" thing but respect your discretion.

Sometimes it does trump word choice. In fact, in most instances I try to be conscious of all the implications of my word choice. If I'm not actively trying to offend somebody then it's poor communication to do so. The burden is not on the listener to be unoffended. I am responsible for my words and their effect.

All true.

To continue my not-radical proposition, I weigh the value of linguistic freedom, nuance and vigor in balance to the potential to offend differently than you do. I do consider both elements.

I consider both elements, but I probably tend to weigh "offensive" heavier than you do.

Language doesn't get hurt feelings but it can be demeaned and watered down and made weak. Euphemizing is a really pernicious attack on meaning and discourse, widely used by politicians and managers. It can become a kind of bad faith, and creates distrust.

While this may be true, we have not been discussing euphemisms. We have been discussing cultural/ethnic/other privilege slurs. I disagree with you that eliminating them weakens the language. (I know the "niggardly" thing is a misconception but I stand by my swastika comparison.)

I am conscious that the broadest categories that define me (white, male, het, cis, educated etc.) align me with the dominant culture. And that I do have the privilege of Not Having To Think About A Lot of Shitty Things Because They're Not Always In My Face. But I do think about them. It's not unconsidered.

I appreciate that you are aware of this. I pondered long and hard about bringing up privilege in this discussion, but did because I feel that it's relevant to language use and especially the examples up for discussion.

I am not arguing that "potential offense" does or should always outweigh word choice. I agree with you that equivocation and the non-apology inherent in passive voice, for example (mistakes were made).

I recognize that you will likely continue to disagree. I simply don't see why, with the richness of language (not just English), one would choose to use a term like "niggardly" or "gypped". "Miserly" and "cheated" work just fine, thanks.


Steph L. - Nov 12, 2009 10:44:41 am PST #297 of 30000
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

Please explain to me how racial/ethnic slurs are a benefit to language and communication. Seriously, I can't wait.

Well, I can see it in writing fiction. What if you want to portray someone as a racist asshole?

I was going on the assumption that we were discussing interpersonal communication, rather than creating fiction. That's a whole other category.


Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Nov 12, 2009 10:46:20 am PST #298 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

Whether I say "You pussy!" or "You are a weak and ineffectual person who lacks the strength to deal with this situation," it's still demeaning. And maybe I ought not be demeaning someone to begin with.

This, at the heart of the matter, makes me think. It's easy for me to control my use of language that might demean. It's much less easy for me to think carefully about the way I lose my rag at good people who don't deserve it. Because I try to be careful and not call them insults doesn't always mean I avoided insulting them.

Zenkitty, your thoughtful explanation of your use of 'crazy' is really interesting.

What if you want to portray someone as a racist asshole?

Aren't there more creative ways than just using language to oppress them, in much the same way as racist arseholes oppress others?

You know there are ninjitsu practitioners screaming "STOP IT!" right now, right?

The UK Bronzers call The Girl 'the ninja' (she's a black belt in... something... I think taekwondo... I need to get to know my future wife better before August, really). She likes this a bit too much.

I'm not pregnant, but the dresses JZ linked to are beautiful.


erikaj - Nov 12, 2009 10:47:26 am PST #299 of 30000
Always Anti-fascist!

Yeah, I know... nice compromise, no? Because she knows "nigga" isn't always an insult, but she hates the sound of it. I have never seen my mother so angry as when my bro got in a fight with me and busted out with "c--" but then one of my books for feminist book group was called that so I don't feel quite *that* way about it, though in a fight it's an unfair advantage. But my mom won't even call Pussy from the Sopranos that.ETA: ita, I might guess you know actual ninjas.


smonster - Nov 12, 2009 10:48:52 am PST #300 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

Shove a baby out your dick and we'll see who cries the longest, motherfucker.

ILU.

When I say someone's "crazy", I'm usually NOT referring to an actual diagnosed mental illness.

Right, me either, but I've heard the same reasoning being given for "gay" and "lame." I have trouble finding fault with that parallel.

Also, I don't even know if my relative is offended (I should ask, duh). And I'll probably never be able to purge it completely from my vocab. But I think it's important to consider.

Well, I can see it in writing fiction. What if you want to portray someone as a racist asshole?

One possible downfall is seeming to endorse behavior one means to condemn. Which gets into the rabbithole of authorial intent. Oops!


Jessica - Nov 12, 2009 10:49:15 am PST #301 of 30000
If I want to become a cloud of bats, does each bat need a separate vaccination?

I was going on the assumption that we were discussing interpersonal communication, rather than creating fiction. That's a whole other category.

Yeah, I think fiction writing has to be in a separate category from speech. If one day fiction writers had to look in old dictionaries to find appropriate vocabularies for their racist asshole characters because those words had all dropped out of casual use? I'd be okay with that.