And maybe I ought not be demeaning someone to begin with.

Sometimes you're just being descriptive. They already demeaned themselves by earning that description.

Please explain to me how racial/ethnic slurs are a benefit to language and communication

Yeah, I can't see what positive jewed adds to the world.

I don't use any of these insults. (Although I thoroughly enjoy hearing you all use them. The creative ones, not the ethnic ones, to clarify.) Most of them just don't come to my mind when I'm looking for an insult. I always refused to say "cocksucker" (because what's actually wrong with that? I'm one myself) because the implication is that only women and gay men suck cock and therefore sucking cock is demeaning, and that implication offends me. Same reason I don't say pussy to mean weak. (Pussies are damn strong. Most men could only aspire to be as strong as a pussy. Shove a baby out your dick and we'll see who cries the longest, motherfucker.) "Motherfucker" is my shameful secret favorite curse/insult, and I've never said it TO anyone with serious intent, because the implication there is nastier than I've ever wanted to be. "Bastard" is the word that usually comes to my mouth when I'm really mad at a guy, and "bitch" when it's a woman, and I'm trying to stop using them, but there aren't any good substitutes that feel real to me. Like, "jerkwad" is funny as hell, but I can't take it seriously as an insult.

I say things and people are "crazy" all the time (including myself). You all have gotten me thinking about how and when I use it, and when I don't. I grew up with, and lived with, and have worked with, so many people with actual mental illnesses, the word crazy doesn't even seem perjorative to me anymore. Now that I think of it, I wouldn't even call most people with a mental illness "crazy", I would call it by its clinical name. Does that make sense? Like, I wouldn't call someone with, say, Tourette's, "crazy", because I don't think having Tourette's means someone is crazy. (The symptoms might "drive them crazy" but that's a whole different meaning.) When I say someone's "crazy", I'm usually NOT referring to an actual diagnosed mental illness. I will, however, continue to refer to the paranoid schizophrenic ex-boyfriend who tried to kill me as a crazy motherfucker. My rules change for that bastard. There just is no "crazy" quite like paranoid schizophrenia. (Well, there's murderous psychopathy, but I haven't met too many of them in real life.)

Dammit, you guys, stop making me think. I come here for FUN.

And maybe I ought not be demeaning someone to begin with.

Sometimes you're just being descriptive. They already demeaned themselves by earning that description.

That's true in some cases. But sometimes I'm just being a jerk, and being demeaning isn't called for.

My mom says a teacher at her school makes her students replace "niggah" with "Ninja" as in "kickin' it with my ninjas" I thought Buffistas would like that.

It's a real contradiction, being a feminist Entourage fan, but I also love watching Dana Gordon pwn, too. And Shauna, nail-polishing badass.

Now that I think of it, I wouldn't even call most people with a mental illness "crazy", I would call it by its clinical name. Does that make sense? Like, I wouldn't call someone with, say, Tourette's, "crazy", because I don't think having Tourette's means someone is crazy. (The symptoms might "drive them crazy" but that's a whole different meaning.) When I say someone's "crazy", I'm usually NOT referring to an actual diagnosed mental illness.

And now YOU'RE making me think, dang it!

"kickin' it with my ninjas"

Okay, that's AWESOME.

"kickin' it with my ninjas"

You know there are ninjitsu practitioners screaming "STOP IT!" right now, right?

Please explain to me how racial/ethnic slurs are a benefit to language and communication. Seriously, I can't wait.

Well, I can see it in writing fiction. What if you want to portray someone as a racist asshole?

And now YOU'RE making me think, dang it!

Sorry!

"kickin' it with my ninjas"

This is fantastic.

You know there are ninjitsu practitioners screaming "STOP IT!" right now, right?

Still, there's no way "ninja" is going to become an insult in this culture.

Hec, I appreciate your long and considered response. I'm still curious about the "gypped" thing but respect your discretion.

Sometimes it does trump word choice. In fact, in most instances I try to be conscious of all the implications of my word choice. If I'm not actively trying to offend somebody then it's poor communication to do so. The burden is not on the listener to be unoffended. I am responsible for my words and their effect.

All true.

To continue my not-radical proposition, I weigh the value of linguistic freedom, nuance and vigor in balance to the potential to offend differently than you do. I do consider both elements.

I consider both elements, but I probably tend to weigh "offensive" heavier than you do.

Language doesn't get hurt feelings but it can be demeaned and watered down and made weak. Euphemizing is a really pernicious attack on meaning and discourse, widely used by politicians and managers. It can become a kind of bad faith, and creates distrust.

While this may be true, we have not been discussing euphemisms. We have been discussing cultural/ethnic/other privilege slurs. I disagree with you that eliminating them weakens the language. (I know the "niggardly" thing is a misconception but I stand by my swastika comparison.)

I am conscious that the broadest categories that define me (white, male, het, cis, educated etc.) align me with the dominant culture. And that I do have the privilege of Not Having To Think About A Lot of Shitty Things Because They're Not Always In My Face. But I do think about them. It's not unconsidered.

I appreciate that you are aware of this. I pondered long and hard about bringing up privilege in this discussion, but did because I feel that it's relevant to language use and especially the examples up for discussion.

I am not arguing that "potential offense" does or should always outweigh word choice. I agree with you that equivocation and the non-apology inherent in passive voice, for example (mistakes were made).

I recognize that you will likely continue to disagree. I simply don't see why, with the richness of language (not just English), one would choose to use a term like "niggardly" or "gypped". "Miserly" and "cheated" work just fine, thanks.