Aw, damn it, I just need to vent. This is such a fucked-up day. I'm working until 3 and then going right to the funeral home for the visitation. My IBS has returned with a vengeance (I haven't eaten gluten, so I'm assuming it's stress).
And -- while I understand the good intentions behind it, the logistics make it impossible for me to deal with -- the Facebook-style kinky social media site we belong to has a system to send mail, like Facebook does. And like Facebook, if you reply to a message, you have to go through the site itself.
Well, someone just messaged me asking for the details for the visitation tonight, and I CANNOT reply to them from work. Not to that Web site. No fucking way.
I don't know her e-mail, because we're not e-mailing buddies, and I don't have her cell phone number.
Like I said, I understand that the person's intentions are nothing but the best, but I can't get her the info, and I don't have the time to e-mail all of our friends to find out if anyone knows how to get in touch with her.
I texted Tim to tell him, because he *might* have her number. But he's ALSO at work, and shouldn't have to stop what he's doing to deal with this. Grrr.
Cereal:
Debet, I was typing while you were posting. Fuck cancer, indeed.
I'm sorry, Teppy. It is perfectly understandable that you can't respond to email at work. You can only do what you can do. Be kind to yourself during this time.
Aims needs a sparkly hat.
Fred Pete! I saw a Nilly post that we missed your birthday. I hope it was a good one filled with treats and happiness.
I'm sorry, Teppy. It is perfectly understandable that you can't respond to email at work. You can only do what you can do.
I know. I'm just trying so hard to handle as much of the fiddly administrative/secretarial stuff -- like answering e-mails that want to know the details for the visitation -- as I can so that Tim doesn't have to deal with it. And when I can't, it's annoying.
Plus, it just hit me as I was talking to a co-worker that the visitation tonight is the first time I'm going to see Tim's mom in almost a week. I hate visitations, because the body in the coffin is not them. It doesn't ever look like them.
And since I didn't see her after she died (I made it to the house after the funeral home people got there), I'm just not prepared to see her today. I mean, I guess no one is. But I think I'm going to lose it. Which also pisses me off, because I want to be able to comfort Tim and his family, not need comforting myself.
Damn it.
I'm so sorry, Debet. Give Maggie a loving scritch or two from me.
IOpetN, Brandy managed to slide down the entire length of stairs this morning. She started down before I had a change to grab to handle on her harness to support her. She seems fine and enthusiastically ran down the ramp to the outside. Since her harness is really a doggy life jacket it served as a cushion in her slide down the stairs as her mom stood helplessly watching.
But I think I'm going to lose it. Which also pisses me off, because I want to be able to comfort Tim and his family, not need comforting myself.
Oh honey! I know that you want to be there for Tim and his family, but please don't ignore your own grief. It's okay to need comforting, and sometimes it helps those grieving to have someone to cry with. I would go to be with you if I could, I'm sorry I don't live closer.
But I think I'm going to lose it. Which also pisses me off, because I want to be able to comfort Tim and his family, not need comforting myself.
Dude, you're allowed to cry at a funeral. I rather doubt Tim loves you because of your stoicism.
Miss Manners was my savior when I had to do greeting duties at my FIL's funeral. My brain was stuck in "Hubby needs me!" mode, but I was able to channel Miss Manners' "The ritual forms you may disregard actually have a valid use in difficult situations" advice and focus on the situation.
