Would I be a dick for maintaining radio silence on Father's Day? Especially if I call other fathers in the family?
I sent my aunt an e-mail last night explaining things. She hasn't responded yet. I hope she's cool.
I just talked to my cousin since I was overdue to congratulation him on his new house whose housewarming I wasn't able to attend. This would be the cousin who's married and has a kid and a house and two cars and is therefore the very definition of success, in contrast to me. He asked me if I was coming to India in December and joked that it would be a good vacation, no pressure. But he understood that no, "no pressure" was not in my parents' vocabulary. He said I should find someone on my own, that would be better, and he would support me in that. So I'm glad he's got my back.
Would I be a dick for maintaining radio silence on Father's Day? Especially if I call other fathers in the family?
Honestly? Yes. It's your call to make but I think, at minimum, send a card or an email if you can't deal with the interaction of a phone call. Especially if you do call the other fathers in the family.
How is your birthday treating you?
Nicely. Mom is sending me two house elf visits and I am about to go nom me some cheese enchiladas because that's what I am craving like whoa.
Honestly? Yes. It's your call to make but I think, at minimum, send a card or an email if you can't deal with the interaction of a phone call. Especially if you do call the other fathers in the family.
Cass is wise, and I also think that not calling might make things worse. Don't give them any ammunition to use against you.
at minimum, send a card or an email
I was thinking gift basket.
Honestly? Yes. It's your call to make but I think, at minimum, send a card or an email if you can't deal with the interaction of a phone call. Especially if you do call the other fathers in the family.
I was thinking of sending an e-mail. Because I can't call. If I call, the conversation has the potential to spiral out of control.
Mom is sending me two house elf visits and I am about to go nom me some cheese enchiladas because that's what I am craving like whoa.
Mmm, enchiladas. That's a good birthday.
My dad wants me to call him at work so my mom won't be there to yell at me. They're playing Crazy Cop, Reasonable Cop again. But I still don't want to talk right now. Not at work. And I'm busy tonight. And I'm visiting friends this weekend and want to have fun and get away from everything.
This is the same thing that always happens, though. I send an e-mail, my mom flips out, my dad tries to smooth things over. Until the process starts over again. I don't know if it will make things worse not to play along like I've always done.
P-C, can you call and wish happy fathers day when you know they'll be out of the house, and leave a message? Phone tag has an illustrious history for a reason!
What. Cass. Said. I would definitely call him. They're the ones who are defining this as you not caring about the family. You don't have to buy into that and you can show them it's not so. You DO care, you just don't want to do this one thing in the way they want you to. I feel for your dad--he has to live with your mom's crazy all the time, and it is clear that they both love you, even if their cultural expectations are wack.
P-C, can you call and wish happy fathers day when you know they'll be out of the house, and leave a message? Phone tag has an illustrious history for a reason!
Yeah, I should be able to get my sister to tell me when they're not home.
They're the ones who are defining this as you not caring about the family. You don't have to buy into that and you can show them it's not so. You DO care, you just don't want to do this one thing in the way they want you to.
Right. Like sj said, it would just be ammunition.
