What were the natures of those failures? It would depend on that for me.
1) Mutual breakup -> FWB -> dating
2) I try to break up, he gets angry that I haven't been communicating my issues so we can work on things, I accede.
3) See #2
4) Get pep talk from Vortex, walk into apartment to find a new picture of self on mantel and special care taken with dinner (including candles), I wuss out and don't bring it up.
I totally suck at conflict and don't think on my feet well in arguments, plus I can pretty much always see the other point of view.
Current plan:
- I've written a brief letter that I can hand to him and walk away, if I feel myself weakening.
- A friend is going to drive over with me so I have a deadline and nearby support/accountability.
- I will institute a 72-hr period of radio silence
- I will spend the day with friends for support, distraction, and help enforcing the radio silence.
I'm taking the poll b/c I just found out that a friend in a somewhat similar situation broke up w/ her BF recently via phone and wondered what the current feeling was on that practice.
I really want a business card that says "Pharma-Bitch."
As long as they don't misprint it "Pharma's-Bitch," which just makes you an extra on The Wire.
I like the plan. And you know that I'm here for you, day or night.
Sorry, smonster. I have no idea on breakup etiquette, as I haven't had to use it in over a decade. But if you need company afterward, just let me know.
Sounds like it's what you need to do, smonster. Supportive friends and 72-hour silence are good ideas.
If you actually talk on the phone, instead of break and run, then I think it's doing what you have to.
I really want a business card that says "Pharma-Bitch."
I totes want that tooooo.
smonster, I think that if you've tried before in person that doing this over the phone might be the way you need to go now. I am not always in favor of the phone breakup, but in this case, I can see where it might be the right thing. And I am a text away if you need any support or a shoulder.
Over the phone for your reasons is very different than over the phone because you can't be bothered. Do what feels doable, hon.
Thanks for the feedback, all. Will ponder. The only thing about the phone breakup is that getting my stuff back may be an issue, but all I really care about is my pillow and two cds and they aren't urgent.
