Sounds like it's what you need to do, smonster. Supportive friends and 72-hour silence are good ideas.

If you actually talk on the phone, instead of break and run, then I think it's doing what you have to.

I really want a business card that says "Pharma-Bitch."

I totes want that tooooo.

smonster, I think that if you've tried before in person that doing this over the phone might be the way you need to go now. I am not always in favor of the phone breakup, but in this case, I can see where it might be the right thing. And I am a text away if you need any support or a shoulder.

Over the phone for your reasons is very different than over the phone because you can't be bothered. Do what feels doable, hon.

Over the phone for your reasons is very different than over the phone because you can't be bothered.

yes, this.

Thanks for the feedback, all. Will ponder. The only thing about the phone breakup is that getting my stuff back may be an issue, but all I really care about is my pillow and two cds and they aren't urgent.

smonster, that sounds like a crappy situation. I hope the plan goes OK. It sounds very sensible.

Seska, threaten with media and loss of a customer.

I've told them I'm leaving - it's made no difference. I'm going to complain to their 'customer relations' dept (the dark pit into which complaints disappear and nothing emerges) and cc in the disability 'support' people (who can only be reached by fax, apparently)

The trouble is that such service is perfectly standard in this country. Lots of outsourcing to places where they think my nearest branch is Cardiff, lots of computer-generated responses (the Little Britain sketch 'computer says no' is exactly right), etc. We've approached a rival bank about setting up an account, and they're happy to handle it, but wouldn't give me an overdraft. I think this is because I don't have an income. The fact that I've never failed to pay off my overdraft in the twelve years I've been with my current bank apparently means nothing. They're happy to give me a credit card, of course. Like that's clever financial management for the woman with bipolar disorder who's practically innumerate.

I know customer service isn't that much better anywhere else, but I can't believe how sucky it's got over here in the past five years or so. It was never this bad before.

IbetterN, my confirmation class was fab this evening. Philosophical and theological head-spin zone. Great stuff.

Just be prepared, smonster. You may have your reasons, but anybody on the receiving end of being broken up with over the phone is going to feel very aggrieved.

I would be. I'd feel like anybody that had been intimate with me had a responsibility to stand in and tell it to me to my face. I would take that same responsibility.

It might be the right thing to do for you. But it's not really the right thing.

But I think your plan to hand him a letter and leave if you feel yourself weakening is better.

Also, you don't have to argue. If he says you aren't giving things a chance or aren't working to fix things, just agree with him. You aren't doing those things because you know that this is what's best for you.

If he says you aren't giving things a chance or aren't working to fix things, just agree with him. You aren't doing those things because you know that this is what's best for you.

This is true. You don't have to make a case. You just have to let him know you're making a choice. That's your prerogative.