ChiKat, I'm very sorry. It is awful.

ION:

Chocolate cheesecake is in the oven

Can I come over?

And. Ladies and gentlemen, after a long absence from my work week, I'm proud, honored and excited to have a full 7 hours night sleep, tonight! Bed, here I come!

Can I come over?

sure! What time should I pick you up at the airport?

sure! What time should I pick you up at the airport?

Oh, hon, as soon as this will happen - you'll know. Y'all know. I'm thinking neon signs and alarm clocks knowing for when I'll come.

I'll get through this year, and the year following that. And they'll obey me, for I'm Shir of Bitches, the neon-signer alarm-clocker really need to sleep-goer.

And they'll tremble, and they'll fear.

I mean, we are talking about Vortexian chocolate cheesecake. I don't do alarm clocks for just any chocolate cheesecake.

Yeah. So, sleep.

cranberry sauce made , sweet potao soup is cooking , and mushroom pate is sill a dream

My day so far:

Wake up, coffee, internet round-up and check. Go to to start iTouch for cleaning rampage music, is dead. Say bad words, charge.Prepare to clean in monk-like silence.

Awful gingham ex-wife curtains removed from dining room.

Go out, apologize to neighbor's for ex-wife's dog incessantly barking. Explain dog needs to be out while I clean. Neighbor is very nice, offers to bring EWD over to play with son's GIANT Lab puppy. EWD goes over fence, promptly starts trying to hump giant Lab puppy's face. I go inside.

Dining room dusted, lemon oiled, window seat hastily cleaned and decorated with items pilfered from screened in porch room, de-cat boxed, de- cat fooded, de- pethair and de-cat condoed

Dining room swiffered, swept (yes, I have to do it twice, fucking 5 pets, OMGWHY?) mopped.

Dining room chairs brought in, not polished yet.

OMG, I forgot I have to cook a turkey breast too! Check turkey breast -- does not need to be defrosted. Cancel plans for evening, as this means I have to cook the ham tonight.

Put ham out.

Go get cigarettes. It's cold. I'm wearing a short cotton skort.

Get nicotine. Pay in $10.77 worth of change.

Get home, smoke cigarette. Get up, spray overn cleaner in oven, as it was producing large amounts of smoke when I baked a pizza last night (from last time I broiled chicken breasts with shittons of butter.)

Dust and polish almost all furniture in foyer, living room and office, except stuff that will just have to be done again after the de-hairing of the furniture tonight.

Swiffer and sweep living room and office. Mop living room while hollering as cats traipse across wet floor -- "Wait till I'm done cleaning it before you get it dirty!"

Take internet and cigarette break.

wizard of oz is on tv, we just hit the poppy fields

I swwep twice with one cat

check to see if the neck is in the cavity. If it is, remove it

Errr, just how far do you have to reach into the neck cavity? I mean, I did poke in there a bit, but.... Yeah, sorry, my ability to handle and eat meat relies on Not. Thinking. About. It. Squeamishness, thy name is Andi.

Thanks, beth, that makes me feel less VirgoCraxy!

WindSparrow, investigate. Way worse to cook plastic in turkey than to turkey-fondle!

I swwep twice with one cat

And how does the cat like to be used as a broom?