cranberry sauce made , sweet potao soup is cooking , and mushroom pate is sill a dream

My day so far:

Wake up, coffee, internet round-up and check. Go to to start iTouch for cleaning rampage music, is dead. Say bad words, charge.Prepare to clean in monk-like silence.

Awful gingham ex-wife curtains removed from dining room.

Go out, apologize to neighbor's for ex-wife's dog incessantly barking. Explain dog needs to be out while I clean. Neighbor is very nice, offers to bring EWD over to play with son's GIANT Lab puppy. EWD goes over fence, promptly starts trying to hump giant Lab puppy's face. I go inside.

Dining room dusted, lemon oiled, window seat hastily cleaned and decorated with items pilfered from screened in porch room, de-cat boxed, de- cat fooded, de- pethair and de-cat condoed

Dining room swiffered, swept (yes, I have to do it twice, fucking 5 pets, OMGWHY?) mopped.

Dining room chairs brought in, not polished yet.

OMG, I forgot I have to cook a turkey breast too! Check turkey breast -- does not need to be defrosted. Cancel plans for evening, as this means I have to cook the ham tonight.

Put ham out.

Go get cigarettes. It's cold. I'm wearing a short cotton skort.

Get nicotine. Pay in $10.77 worth of change.

Get home, smoke cigarette. Get up, spray overn cleaner in oven, as it was producing large amounts of smoke when I baked a pizza last night (from last time I broiled chicken breasts with shittons of butter.)

Dust and polish almost all furniture in foyer, living room and office, except stuff that will just have to be done again after the de-hairing of the furniture tonight.

Swiffer and sweep living room and office. Mop living room while hollering as cats traipse across wet floor -- "Wait till I'm done cleaning it before you get it dirty!"

Take internet and cigarette break.

wizard of oz is on tv, we just hit the poppy fields

I swwep twice with one cat

check to see if the neck is in the cavity. If it is, remove it

Errr, just how far do you have to reach into the neck cavity? I mean, I did poke in there a bit, but.... Yeah, sorry, my ability to handle and eat meat relies on Not. Thinking. About. It. Squeamishness, thy name is Andi.

Thanks, beth, that makes me feel less VirgoCraxy!

WindSparrow, investigate. Way worse to cook plastic in turkey than to turkey-fondle!

I swwep twice with one cat

And how does the cat like to be used as a broom?

Bwah! Thanks, I needed that image! Hee.

MEEEOOOYAWWWRROOAAAOWWWW!

WindSparrow, investigate. Way worse to cook plastic in turkey than to turkey-fondle!

Seriously? The neck is in a plastic thingy separate from the gibblets packet?

Well, I pulled the bird from the oven, where it has been for two hours already, and reached in with some tongs. I wasn't able to pull anything out, or see any thing. So I'm rather hoping the neck was not in there.

I feel like I'm in a 1930s comedy or an episode of I Love Lucy.