I live with it every day. The hyperfocus/extreme distractability, the way time is not a fixed measure, the way little fiddly details are suddenly the most important thing in the world ever and have to be taken care of right now or OMG the fucking world will END.

Sounds like my DH. I drives me crazy. I love him, but it drives me crazy. And yeah, no ADD diagnosis for him, but I often suspect that's because when he was younger they usually only pinged hyperactive kids, and hyperactive he's not.

The hyperfocus/extreme distractability, the way time is not a fixed measure, the way little fiddly details are suddenly the most important thing in the world ever and have to be taken care of right now or OMG the fucking world will END.

Actually, this sounds like my boss. It really would explain a LOT.

Sounds like my DH. I drives me crazy. I love him, but it drives me crazy.

It drives me crazy, too. It's not his fault, and he never uses it as an excuse, and I know all that, but it still drives me crazy.

And yeah, no ADD diagnosis for him, but I often suspect that's because when he was younger they usually only pinged hyperactive kids, and hyperactive he's not.

The Boy wasn't a hyperactive kid, so he didn't get diagnosed as anything but "lazy underachiever." He wasn't diagnosed until his 30s. Some people aren't diagnosed until they're in their 60s.

Heck, I drive me crazy.

OK, I found the email address for the library student liason on the website, and I emailed her. Got a bounce-back email that that address doesn't exist.

Owen's next IEP meeting will include an LD teacher AND the gifted & talented teacher. The school is finally picking up his diagnosis of Autism, after a year and two reports from a developmental pediatrician.

But they're going to have to figure out what to do with a five year old who can read the newspaper and do addition and subtraction but can't keep his hands to himself or stay on track during a full school day.

The hyperfocus/extreme distractability, the way time is not a fixed measure, the way little fiddly details are suddenly the most important thing in the world ever and have to be taken care of right now or OMG the fucking world will END.

Interestingly, all aspects of dyspraxia too. (Along with much anxiety that means needing to talk and/or obsess about a detail until it drives you - and your partner - round the bend.) But then, there's apparently a spectrum of these things, with lots of crossover. Which makes sense.

The Boy wasn't a hyperactive kid, so he didn't get diagnosed as anything but "lazy underachiever." He wasn't diagnosed until his 30s. Some people aren't diagnosed until they're in their 60s.

Don't you hate the "lazy underachiever" label? So useless. It's like guilt. I find guilt a very destructive emotion because it actually makes it harder to effectively address whatever is causing the guilt. Same with lazy. And I call myself lazy all the time. I'm very bad about it.

But they're going to have to figure out what to do with a five year old who can read the newspaper and do addition and subtraction but can't keep his hands to himself or stay on track during a full school day.

Do they have an open classroom or one that emphasizes compassionate communication? I'm just thinking if he had a teacher who responded to his behavior with support instead of punishment, it'd be great for him.

there's apparently a spectrum of these things, with lots of crossover. Which makes sense.

The co-morbidities with ADD are fascinating to me (which is a totally privileged thing to say, since I don't have ADD). Because The Boy is on the board of directors for our local ADD support group, they sent him to the national conference last month, and he brought back a lot of good material. OCD is apparently a common co-morbidity, as are depression and Tourette's syndrome.

Don't you hate the "lazy underachiever" label?

Early on in our relationship, we had the conversation about What Never to Say to Me Unless You Want Me to Lose My Shit Entirely. And The Boy's only stipulation was to never call him lazy, or anything in that vein (like "[The Boy] can't keep up," or "[The Boy] always falls behind"), because that's what every teacher he ever had said about him.

And he's so NOT lazy, and it makes me so angry on his behalf. Especially on behalf of his childhood self.