I used to read like meara. And then I discovered fanfiction, which has replaced most of my reading time, and I don't have to carry a book, just my phone. Of course, I seriously need some new fandoms because I feel like I have read ALL THE FIC IN THE WORLD.

Totally had a revelation about why we don't have those automated scooper trash trucks that Noah loves so much: alleys. There simply isn't clearance in most of them for that sort of thing.

That's about all I got this morning.

Woman who'd been secretly living in NYC apartment captured on hidden camera

This gentleman couldn't figure out why food was going missing in his high-storey NYC apartment. His girlfriend denied taking it. So he set up a hidden camera to see what was happening, and shortly thereafter, he saw a strange woman creep out of a deep storage crawlspace over the kitchen, let herself down onto the kitchen table and help herself to his pantry. He phoned the police (he was in the apartment), and they told him after investigating that they believed the woman had been secretly living in his apartment for weeks.

I hate it when that happens.

I read a lot more before I had kids, mainly because I used to stay up much later. Now that I'm waking up at 6:30 in the morning, staying up until 2 reading is no longer as good an idea as it used to be.

Oh dear. This from My First Fail is especially fail-eriffic: Every Parent’s Nightmare.

The most surprising thing about that story to me is that anyone in Manhattan has enough extra storage space for an adult to sleep in and isn't already renting it out on Craigslist.

Yeah. Maybe the whole thing's just a Craigslist rental gone bad.

Back when my eldest aunts were 6, 4 and 2, they had just moved into the mostly finished farmhouse. One day, they discovered a paintcan and proceded to dump it down the stairs and landing so that they were slipperier to go down on pillows.

Which is why that flight of stairs was always painted, rather than natural wood as was planned.

My uncle always told us this story whenever we visited.

Animatronics from Hell: Mickey Mouse Terminator Tattoo [Geeky Tattoo]

Drinking coffee won't sober you up.

The researchers tested how well adult mice were able to navigate their way round a maze to avoid unpleasant stimuli, such as bright lights and loud noises.

The animals were given doses of alcohol and caffeine in various combination, and their performance on the maze was compared to others who were given a neutral saline solution.

Alcohol made the animals more relaxed, but less able to avoid the unpleasant shocks.

Animals given caffeine were little better at navigating around the maze, but were more alert and uptight.

In combination alcohol and caffeine appeared to produce relatively alert, relaxed animals that were still incompetent at sidestepping nasty shocks.

Of course the article misses out completely on the most important question of all, which is "How can I get this job involving getting mice drunk and making them run into things?"