Drinking coffee won't sober you up.
The researchers tested how well adult mice were able to navigate their way round a maze to avoid unpleasant stimuli, such as bright lights and loud noises.
The animals were given doses of alcohol and caffeine in various combination, and their performance on the maze was compared to others who were given a neutral saline solution.
Alcohol made the animals more relaxed, but less able to avoid the unpleasant shocks.
Animals given caffeine were little better at navigating around the maze, but were more alert and uptight.
In combination alcohol and caffeine appeared to produce relatively alert, relaxed animals that were still incompetent at sidestepping nasty shocks.
Of course the article misses out completely on the most important question of all, which is "How can I get this job involving getting mice drunk and making them run into things?"