Jayne is a girl's name.

River ,'Trash'


Coffee On My Monitor Again

This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.


§ ita § - Nov 15, 2013 5:38:25 am PST #999 of 1328
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

-t (to billytea) (are they related?):

On the internet, no one knows you're an asteroid.


billytea - Nov 15, 2013 4:49:15 pm PST #1000 of 1328
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

In Natter:

Sophia: My BFF hates hugging women because she does not like the smooshing of bosoms together. Luckily, I am not a hugger.

§ ita §: She doesn't play it like a video game and try to aim nipples for nipples?

Not...not that I do that, so don't feel weird huggers! Don't feel weird at all.


Tom Scola - Nov 22, 2013 4:13:42 am PST #1001 of 1328
Mr. Scola’s wardrobe by Botany 500

-t in Boxed Set:

Revolution and Physics have a bit of a strained relationship. Revolution is always bringing flowers and candy and saying how nobody really appreciates Physics' dark beauty the way Revolution does, but Physics is pretty sure Revolution is in love with something its constructed in its own mind, not the real Physics.


Jesse - Nov 24, 2013 3:41:37 pm PST #1002 of 1328
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

In Natter:

-t: Cranberry sauce #1: made and setting up in mold

Tom Scola: I'm going to take a stand, and say that cranberry sauce shouldn't be moldy.

-t: Scola, you will be happy to know that I have unmolded the cranberry sauce. I decided it needed more simmering.

Tom Scola: OK, just make sure to shape it like a tin can before serving it.

-t: Carving all those little ridges in the side takes forever!


billytea - Dec 04, 2013 2:55:29 pm PST #1003 of 1328
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

Aims in Bitches has a cause of action:

I'm suing the pet food company because it causes too much gas in Ollie and he has been known to scare himself when he farts. He then barks at his own ass for about 10 minutes. It's disturbing and interrupts my show. PAY FOR MY NETFLIX, PURINA.


Steph L. - Dec 04, 2013 5:07:33 pm PST #1004 of 1328
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

I gotta list everything that preceded that --

Strix: Not to downplay poor doggie injury, but I don't think worker's comp covers "pet's emotional instability" disability.

Steph L.: My dog sometimes seems disconcerted about some unnameable thing. That ought to be good for at least 5 bucks.

billytea: I fully support writing up this comp claim. "Reason for inability to perform regular duties: Dog stared into abyss, abyss stared back."

Liese: My dog was just discomfited by the fact that the printer made noise in the other room...without anyone near it! Shocking! Unsettling!

brenda: Is the abyss that blank patch on the wall? Cause that happens a lot around here.

Steph L.: And right now he's exhibiting ennui. HARD. That's got to be good for a $20.

Ginger: Mr Peabody gets so upset by a smoke detector that needs a new battery that he hides under my chair. I think the smoke detector people owe him something.

WindSparrow: I'm starting to feel sorry for manufacturers of vacuum cleaners. They have a lot to answer for from the cats of this world. Deliberate, repeated, sustained torment in collusion with the cats' human servants everywhere.

The cats are gonna have to get their own lawyers, though.


Tom Scola - Dec 09, 2013 10:55:23 am PST #1005 of 1328
Mr. Scola’s wardrobe by Botany 500

Jessica's review of The Desolation of Smaug, in Movies:

Jessica: Watching Thorin and Thranduil glare at each other, priceless.

Jilli: That's pretty much why I want to see the movie. All hail Thranduil, King of Bitchface!

Jessica: Even the King of Bitchface is no match for Thorin Emoshield and his feels. And his hair. Which also has feels.


Burrell - Dec 19, 2013 6:03:16 pm PST #1006 of 1328
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!

Natter Chatter:

Steph: We found on the steps of one house -- just a mouse head. It was like a tiny Godfather tableau for, say, a dollhouse.

-t: My mom once found a headless mouse laid out on a stepping stone in her front yard like a sacrifice. Cats have creepy aesthetics.

Aims: Same mouse. Got splinched trying to apparate.


meara - Dec 30, 2013 12:38:50 pm PST #1007 of 1328

Cass- Cool scroll news.

more than 80 bronze and marble statues of the highest quality, including one of Pan having sex with a goat.
This part made me laugh though. Apparently goat fucking was the high quality stuff. Sheep fucking was for peasants, one assumes.

Burrell Isn't Pan part goat?

JZ Sheep fucking is for the apprentice bronzeworkers. Goat fucking? That's master's work. You can't just waltz into the studio and expect someone to hand you goat fucking on a platter; you've got to work your way up.

Aims you've got to work your way up. From the hooves, as it were.


aurelia - Jan 03, 2014 7:04:19 pm PST #1008 of 1328
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.

sarameg I got stuck on the roof.

Amy Say again?

sarameg I got stuck on the roof.