Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.

Kaylee ,'Shindig'


Coffee On My Monitor Again

This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.


billytea - Dec 04, 2013 2:55:29 pm PST #1003 of 1328
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

Aims in Bitches has a cause of action:

I'm suing the pet food company because it causes too much gas in Ollie and he has been known to scare himself when he farts. He then barks at his own ass for about 10 minutes. It's disturbing and interrupts my show. PAY FOR MY NETFLIX, PURINA.


Steph L. - Dec 04, 2013 5:07:33 pm PST #1004 of 1328
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

I gotta list everything that preceded that --

Strix: Not to downplay poor doggie injury, but I don't think worker's comp covers "pet's emotional instability" disability.

Steph L.: My dog sometimes seems disconcerted about some unnameable thing. That ought to be good for at least 5 bucks.

billytea: I fully support writing up this comp claim. "Reason for inability to perform regular duties: Dog stared into abyss, abyss stared back."

Liese: My dog was just discomfited by the fact that the printer made noise in the other room...without anyone near it! Shocking! Unsettling!

brenda: Is the abyss that blank patch on the wall? Cause that happens a lot around here.

Steph L.: And right now he's exhibiting ennui. HARD. That's got to be good for a $20.

Ginger: Mr Peabody gets so upset by a smoke detector that needs a new battery that he hides under my chair. I think the smoke detector people owe him something.

WindSparrow: I'm starting to feel sorry for manufacturers of vacuum cleaners. They have a lot to answer for from the cats of this world. Deliberate, repeated, sustained torment in collusion with the cats' human servants everywhere.

The cats are gonna have to get their own lawyers, though.


Tom Scola - Dec 09, 2013 10:55:23 am PST #1005 of 1328
Mr. Scola’s wardrobe by Botany 500

Jessica's review of The Desolation of Smaug, in Movies:

Jessica: Watching Thorin and Thranduil glare at each other, priceless.

Jilli: That's pretty much why I want to see the movie. All hail Thranduil, King of Bitchface!

Jessica: Even the King of Bitchface is no match for Thorin Emoshield and his feels. And his hair. Which also has feels.


Burrell - Dec 19, 2013 6:03:16 pm PST #1006 of 1328
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!

Natter Chatter:

Steph: We found on the steps of one house -- just a mouse head. It was like a tiny Godfather tableau for, say, a dollhouse.

-t: My mom once found a headless mouse laid out on a stepping stone in her front yard like a sacrifice. Cats have creepy aesthetics.

Aims: Same mouse. Got splinched trying to apparate.


meara - Dec 30, 2013 12:38:50 pm PST #1007 of 1328

Cass- Cool scroll news.

more than 80 bronze and marble statues of the highest quality, including one of Pan having sex with a goat.
This part made me laugh though. Apparently goat fucking was the high quality stuff. Sheep fucking was for peasants, one assumes.

Burrell Isn't Pan part goat?

JZ Sheep fucking is for the apprentice bronzeworkers. Goat fucking? That's master's work. You can't just waltz into the studio and expect someone to hand you goat fucking on a platter; you've got to work your way up.

Aims you've got to work your way up. From the hooves, as it were.


aurelia - Jan 03, 2014 7:04:19 pm PST #1008 of 1328
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.

sarameg I got stuck on the roof.

Amy Say again?

sarameg I got stuck on the roof.


beekaytee - Jan 05, 2014 1:58:52 pm PST #1009 of 1328
Compassionately intolerant

Connie in Bitches, articulating the most elegant representation of a paper cut I have ever seen:

Paper has betrayed you! Paper, which holds words! and pictures! Great thoughts and beauty! It has betrayed you and wounded you! Of course the pain is all the greater.


Laga - Jan 08, 2014 3:10:03 am PST #1010 of 1328
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.

in Gaming

billytea - Jan 7, 2014 2:32:54 pm

As we enter the new year, I'm back at my job full-time, we're getting Ryan ready to start at school, I've signed up for two online courses from Harvard (Chinese history and computer programming) and I've got four library books still unread and mocking me from the bedside table. Oh, and I'm trying to pull together some stats analysis on BSG games on boardgamegeek. Naturally, this is the time that I'm starting up on organising our next BSG game. I propose to run it using the same elements as we used last game (including Daybreak and the other expansions, with optional modules limited to Conflicted Loyalties, and Cylon Leader if anyone picks one).

Time to decide. Who's in for the twentieth flight of Battlestar Galactica? All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again. Post here or send me an email.

Polter-Cow - Jan 7, 2014 2:45:58 pm

I'm in with the same stuff.

Laga - Jan 7, 2014 3:04:30 pm

I'm in and I agree with the Cow.

chrismg - Jan 7, 2014 3:08:08 pm

I'll just heckle from the sidelines this time.

askye - Jan 7, 2014 3:18:36 pm

I'm in. I'll probably be able to participate more since I'm not constantly working weird hours.

omnis_audis - Jan 7, 2014 3:23:29 pm

Ouch! Quit twisting my arm! I'll do it!

billytea - Jan 7, 2014 3:32:13 pm

Ok, that's four sign-ups in... a touch over an hour. Clearly you all have a problem and are in need of professional help. All I can offer is a frantic chase across solar systems by a gang of homicidal robots, which should at least put your own issues in perspective.

omnis_audis - Jan 7, 2014 4:09:01 pm

I will have you know, I have SOOoooo many issues, it can be classified as a SUBSCRIPTION!


-t - Jan 08, 2014 5:07:56 pm PST #1011 of 1328
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

Dana in Good Riddance. Go look at the context, it is amazing, but even without context this is pretty awesome:

Chuck Norris wishes he loved somebody like Kirk Douglas loves you.


Kate P. - Jan 10, 2014 9:24:14 am PST #1012 of 1328
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love

In Natter:

Steph L.: I was reading a post with questions from readers about picking your bridal party, and one reader wondered if 9 (on just her side) was too many.

The very first comment was "I think nine is a nice number because then they can be your Nazgul."

AWESOME.

Steph L.: Realizing I could have had Nazgul makes me slightly regret not having a wedding party.

billytea: I for one endorse replacing "Maid of Honour" with "Witch King of Angmar".

Connie Neil: Once again looking for the Like button on the Nazgul posts. The Witch King would give a bitchin' speech.

billytea: I'd be waiting for when she announces it's time to get on the dance floor: "Do not come between the Nazgûl and her prey."

Theodosia: I'd look forward to the part of the wedding reception where the Witch King says "No man may dance with me," and the Best Man tears off his false beard and breast bindings and whips her into a waltz.