Zoe: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing? Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

'War Stories'


Coffee On My Monitor Again

This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.


billytea - Oct 18, 2011 10:37:42 am PDT #747 of 1328
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

(in a discussion of Walking Dead, if you must have context)

And there was I thinking it was a reference to Plants vs Zombies.


dcp - Oct 18, 2011 1:27:13 pm PDT #748 of 1328
The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.

I thought everyone would recognize it as a re-write of the Star Trek joke, "How fast is Warp 9? Just as fast as the story needs it to be, and no faster."


Beverly - Oct 26, 2011 2:56:25 pm PDT #749 of 1328
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

In Movies,

tommyrot: Now I'm picturing a movie with velociraptors on an airship. The airship uses helium, and at one point the velociraptors run through a big helium gas bag, causing their roars to become high-pitched squeals. Then when they corner some humans, the humans just laugh so the velociraptors just slink away.

The movie could be steampunk, so the velociraptors can wear goggles.


Scrappy - Oct 29, 2011 8:26:15 am PDT #750 of 1328
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

The inimitable Tep, in Natter.

Tep: So, the other night *I* made grilled cheese & tomato soup for dinner, and burned the grilled cheese (this is why Tim makes the grilled cheese instead of me, but he was disassembling the drill press that night).

The smoke detector didn't go off that night, so I just asked Tim to test it. He reached into the depths of the credenza and pulled out an incense stick (a heretofore unknown incense stick; color me unsurprised). He lit it and stood under the smoke detector and waved it. The alarm went off immediately.

"Well," I said, "we know no hippies will break in."


Beverly - Nov 01, 2011 11:13:39 am PDT #751 of 1328
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

In Natter,

Gud: I was in a bookstore this weekend (they still exist, who knew?) and on a shelf I spotted a Bill Clinton corkscrew with the slogan 'who better to pop your cork?' next to a Hillary Clinton nutcracker. It made me think I miss Clinton, the budget surplus, international respect (though that's getting better), no land wars in Asia, jobs, the worst scandal just lying about sex and let's face it lying about sex is pretty common (that was great, sure I remember your name, I bought the Porsche because of the way it drives). Ah well, the good old days.


Pix - Nov 02, 2011 7:19:17 pm PDT #752 of 1328
We're all getting played with, babe. -Weird Barbie

billytea in Natter:

Concerning the splooging species, I would like to direct your attention especially to the European bitterling, which is into inter-species threesomes. the male and female find a mussel to involve in their tawdry sex games; the male squirts sperm down its inhalation siphon, while the female squirts eggs down its exhalation siphon. Fertilisation occurs within a protected environment. When the baby bitterlings leave, the mussel (who wasn't offering its services for free, being apparently a fallen mussel, or perhaps a mussel of the night) attaches its own young in cysts on the babies' sides.

There are a lot of undersea stories I think are just ripe for conversion into a Disney cartoon.


smonster - Nov 05, 2011 8:01:24 pm PDT #753 of 1328
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

In Natter:

Amy: What is with the earthquakes?

tommyrot: Clocks get set back tonight. Happens when they get ready to stop the Earth for an hour.


smonster - Nov 15, 2011 10:33:13 am PST #754 of 1328
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

In Natter. Rock stars need no context.

Liese: I'm going to start an all girl band with a male bassist and I'm going to call it "Superdouchey Fallacy."


Toddson - Nov 18, 2011 11:14:43 am PST #755 of 1328
Friends don't let friends read "Atlas Shrugged"

Hec on Matilda:

The Princess and the Pea is not a fairytale, but a documentary on her life.


billytea - Nov 21, 2011 4:49:21 pm PST #756 of 1328
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

And, JZ on Matilda:

Matilda is watching Yellow Submarine for the first time:

The Beatles: All the lonely people - where do they all come from?

Matilda: They come from America!

The Beatles: Where do they all belong?

Matilda: JULY!