erikaj:

I once tried to win a real-life political argument on Daily Kos using nothing but Homicide quotes...for me, I suppose, it's never off-topic. The scary part was that I almost succeeded. Like Hardison, I couldn't resist a dramatic flourish at the end and overplayed.

billytea, in bitches:

When Wallybee and I started dating, she wrote down every text message I sent her, and kept doing so over the next year or so. (Came in handy when we set about proving to immigration that the relationship was genuine.) I lost her messages to me when I changed mobiles, but my favourite was one she sent me when I was off to run a D&D game: "HAVE FUN AT YOUR GAME. I LOVE YOU. KILL THEM ALL."

Ah, buffistas in love.

Miracleman rewrites some obfuscatory legal word salad.

*********

The USC contains a consolidation and codification of the general and permanent laws of the United States. It sets out the current status of the laws, as amended, without repeating all the language of the amendatory acts except where necessary. The USC is declared to be prima facie evidence of those laws. Its purpose is to present the laws in a concise and usable form without requiring recourse to the many volumes of the Statutes at Large containing the individual amendments.

The USC contains a confounderation and calcification of the generic and currentitious status of the laws, as amendamated, without repeating the language of the amendatatory acts except where funny. The USC is hereby declarified to be quo ispos custard. Its purpose is to present the laws in a concisory and facilitatable formation without requiring recourse to the many volumes of the Statutes at Large which are heavy and hard to read.

Fuckin' Joe. He posts every six months and instantly gets COMM'd. It's almost like he sits around saying snarky things and only posts when he thinks it's REALLY funny.

In Procedurals:

le nubian

this is a public service.

tonight's CSI features Carrot Top. I received no warning. Friends don't let friends see Carrot Top without warning.

Cass: Doves are dumb even for birds.

just can't stop laughing at this, donno why

Gudanov:

You are in a K-Mart if the interior of the store looks at least twenty years old and there's a sight yellow-ish atmosphere from the combination of florescent lighting and age.

You are in a Wal-Mart if the store has a thin blue veneer that looks modern and cheap at the same time, as if you applied a Facebook(tm)-like template over the store. They are also marked by dystopian-style LCD screens playing advertisements everywhere you go.

You are in a Target if you so assaulted by red that you can make no actual judgement of the interior of the store. Another giveaway is if they shit you want instead of just shit you need.

In Bitches, on the creation of Hollaback Israel:

Shir:

I'm just a girl with a keyboard and a weird sense of justice. That's all. Apparently that's all you need. Weird, huh?

SailAweigh:

Sometimes, all it takes is for that one snowflake to start an avalanche.

Trudy Booth:

Someone tripped the wrong fucking snowflake.

Buffistas making me laugh today in Natter:

Connie Neil:

I wish I understood anything after "spend the next year".

tommyrot:

More from the article:

Witnesses state the suspect was asking, "Where's brenda?"

In Bitches (re: the WBC)

Connie Neil:

They are baffling in their batshit insanity. One wonders how they manage to transport themselves from place to place.

DCJensen:

Sewers.

Barb:

I'd think the rats would protest.