'Lineage'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
In Natter, a convo on Top Gear:
Kathy A: Second fave was probably the "drive from Switzerland to Blackpool on one tank of gas" challenge. Did James ever make it at all?
Cass: They all made it. I have no idea how.
Someone must have been replaced their gas tanks with menorahs.
In Natter, Matt the Bruins fan responds to report of an ant invasion:
Matt: If bugs want to live in my space, they need to learn to make themselves cuter. You don't see me reaching for the pesticides or swatters if kittens find their way inside.
Ginger, in Bitches:
A ball in the box is worth two in the bush?
erikaj:
I once tried to win a real-life political argument on Daily Kos using nothing but Homicide quotes...for me, I suppose, it's never off-topic. The scary part was that I almost succeeded. Like Hardison, I couldn't resist a dramatic flourish at the end and overplayed.
billytea, in bitches:
When Wallybee and I started dating, she wrote down every text message I sent her, and kept doing so over the next year or so. (Came in handy when we set about proving to immigration that the relationship was genuine.) I lost her messages to me when I changed mobiles, but my favourite was one she sent me when I was off to run a D&D game: "HAVE FUN AT YOUR GAME. I LOVE YOU. KILL THEM ALL."
Ah, buffistas in love.
Miracleman rewrites some obfuscatory legal word salad.
*********
The USC contains a consolidation and codification of the general and permanent laws of the United States. It sets out the current status of the laws, as amended, without repeating all the language of the amendatory acts except where necessary. The USC is declared to be prima facie evidence of those laws. Its purpose is to present the laws in a concise and usable form without requiring recourse to the many volumes of the Statutes at Large containing the individual amendments.
The USC contains a confounderation and calcification of the generic and currentitious status of the laws, as amendamated, without repeating the language of the amendatatory acts except where funny. The USC is hereby declarified to be quo ispos custard. Its purpose is to present the laws in a concisory and facilitatable formation without requiring recourse to the many volumes of the Statutes at Large which are heavy and hard to read.
Fuckin' Joe. He posts every six months and instantly gets COMM'd. It's almost like he sits around saying snarky things and only posts when he thinks it's REALLY funny.
In Procedurals:
le nubian
this is a public service.
tonight's CSI features Carrot Top. I received no warning. Friends don't let friends see Carrot Top without warning.
Cass: Doves are dumb even for birds.
just can't stop laughing at this, donno why
Gudanov:
You are in a K-Mart if the interior of the store looks at least twenty years old and there's a sight yellow-ish atmosphere from the combination of florescent lighting and age.
You are in a Wal-Mart if the store has a thin blue veneer that looks modern and cheap at the same time, as if you applied a Facebook(tm)-like template over the store. They are also marked by dystopian-style LCD screens playing advertisements everywhere you go.
You are in a Target if you so assaulted by red that you can make no actual judgement of the interior of the store. Another giveaway is if they shit you want instead of just shit you need.