erikaj in Great Write Way (do I really need to tell you about who?):

And I'm still not buying her Origin myth either...why not just say a radioactive potboiler bit you while you were hanging around your uncle's lab?

If you guessed Stephanie Meyers, you'd be right.

Matt the Bruins: Are those phone camera commercials supposed to do anything besides convince me that Ashton Kutcher would have been killed long ago if Demi Moore weren't scary?

Please note: These are college students.

DebetEsse: We were doing sentence diagramming in class, and I used the example, "Deck the halls with boughs of holly."

We got through the implied [you] subject, since it's a command, fairly easily, but the class had nothing at all when asked what the sentence actually meant. "deck" and "boughs" were both unfamiliar. There were a couple to whom "holly" was not particularly meaningful, and let's not even get into, "well, really, they're probably not talking about halls that connect rooms, but large rooms where many people gather. Like a dining hall."

Erin in Natter on workplace etiquette.

I got fired for being cranky and blunt and not being "positive enough."

I think I need to work for Ari Gold.

(He'll always apologize after, Erin.)

PixK in Bitches:

Skipping to the end to share the funniest wedding email ever. Billytea, of course, upon realizing that we did not yet own BSG and requesting our registry info.

It is done! Congratulations to the both of you. Please accept this gift of deceit, mistrust and betrayal, the only way to start married life.

Jessica in Natter:

Of course the article misses out completely on the most important question of all, which is "How can I get this job involving getting mice drunk and making them run into things?"

tommyrot in Natter:

ION, my apartment is a little messy. I just watched my cat stalk and pounce on a pair of underwear.

That ain't right.

ita:

Did your cat have to give chase? That's the scale you measure ain't right on.

And, so snorfly I had to back a whole day to get it:

ita:

Now I know to go needle if I ever get the third one done like I've been kinda meaning to.

Jesse:

Your third ear?!?!?

ita:

YES JESSE THIRD EAR.

Third cartilage piercing, der. Which would bring that ear up to 7. And full done. Just one on the other side. Not sure why.

Sophia:

You have SEVEN ears????

ita:

YES SEVEN EARS SOPHIA.

The next day, ita:

At the very last minute I remembered I'd planned to wear earrings and a necklace. Put three earrings in (IN EACH OF MY THREE EARS) and everything. Not that the jewelry matches my outfit or anything, but they all match each other, and that's half the battle.

javachik on theology in Bitches:

If you don't believe in god, you can pray like I do, to the stars and moons and trees and rocks and things and Crosby Stills and Nash but mostly Nash because he was the nicest and cutest.

This may be the most quinticentially Buffista statement ever.

Steph L.: And now that I've shared my freaky beliefs, I'm going to Trader Joe's.