Atropa in Bitches:

More parents need to embrace what my Dad did: normal names or spelling, but you tell the kid something different until they need to see any official legal documents.

Signed, the woman who believed her middle name was "Vegomatic" until she was 16.

Buffistas are past masters at black humor. Desperately finding a ray of light in present horror this morning in Natter, slightly edited.

Toddson: Seemingly the DHS secretary decided to go out to eat (ironically at a Mexican restaurant) and was driven out by protesters standing around chanting "shame, shame".

Laura: As a general rule I let recognized people dine out without annoying them; I'd make an exception for people that take kids away from parents and keep them in cages.

Jessica: Yeah, I think if your policy is forcibly separating asylum seeking parents from their asylum seeking infants, I see no moral issue with a crowd of protesters forcibly separating you from your enchiladas.

Matt the Bruins fan: Or entrails. IJS.

In Natter...

Dana: People misspell and mispronounce everything. No matter what. It's like a challenge.

shrift: Challenge accepted, Donna.

Shir, in Natter:

Library informed me that they want their book back, as it has been in my possession for six weeks. Only six weeks. C'mon, library. It's practically like dating. You cannot ask me to return an item of interest after merely six weeks (OK, technically you can, but morally, really?). The book has only now begun to discover the way the sun casts its rays through the window and onto the shelf it is stored safely on; When I am going to bed; What I'm drinking next to my reading list. I finally got used to the damn font the print chose. Interrupting this affair so soon is simply unjust.

(And they say I do not have a romantic soul).

DebetEsse: My sister (recent acquisition. You're not crazy if you don't remember me having a sister)

Gudanov: Does this mean your family has jumped the shark?

shrift: I can't decide which one I need more: a nap or an alibi.

Calli: Give us the timeframe and we can let everyone know that you were innocently napping then.

From Bitches, lightly edited:

Nora Deirdre - I go to see a new therapist tomorrow. I don't wanna. My sad lazy cocoon protects me!

Jessica - Misread this as "sad lazy raccoon" and wondered for a second if you weren't speaking metaphorically!

DavidS - Maybe a Sad Lazy Raccoon would be more helpful than a therapist. I know I would enjoy one. Though I would hope it was merely a bit melancholy.

Shir - ... And yeah, my brain also went for racoon.

Tom Scola - Maybe a Sad Lazy Raccoon would be more helpful than a therapist.

Steph L. - Good luck, Nora. I hope the therapist (who I am now thinking of as a raccoon) clicks with you and can offer some help.

Dana - Dr Raccoon, MD.

DavidS - ...vs. the Brain Weasels!

Nora Deirdre - Thanks for the raccoon imagery, y'all.

Scrappy - "Look at your mind as a sort of garbage can, if you will. You need to get in there, take your problems in your hands and then wash them in the nearest body of water."

Toddson - Then eat them?

Scrappy - "Then eat them."

Atropa - Whereas I think of my issues as brain raccoons, because they like to knock over the trash can where I keep the crazy, rummage around in it, and make a mess. Maybe Dr. Raccoon would be able to drive off the brain raccoons?

Dana - Dr. Raccoon, MD and Raccoon Ninja.

Pix - I love you people.

[lightly edited for brevity]

Pix - I'm also glad Gud is working on the new site with better login security and such. I think we may need to tighten up and update our descriptions and such before it premieres, since it likely at least some new people will find their way here [snip] We are so old school in design that I don't expect many people who have the patience for our talky talk, but it's possible.

DXMachina - We could limit post sizes to 140 characters. Would that help?

-t - Bwahahahaha!

I was thinking blink text, etc

Atropa - Animated cursors! Embedded MIDI files you can't turn off!

(There are eBay sellers, right now, in 2018, who use both those things in their auction listings.)

Vortex - I trust Gud, but I love our world, and don't want it to be invaded by, um, newbies? /xenophobic

DXMachina - We could build a big wall on the border. That'd surely work.

Dana - We'll get Angel to pay for it.

From Bureaucrazy:

Steph:

t this should be an inline GIF indicating agreement

t but it's not

t because WE OLD

From the lovely Atropa, in Natter, following a discussion of how to build a fire:

Aim the hairspray flamethrower at the top of the tent caterpillar nest, and burn your way down