But it helped me understand that in this day and age, marriage is *really* just a legal contract that allows you rights and access to each others things and lives. Banks. Hospital stuff. Children. Inheritance. Nothing to do with love or religion. And the fact that a het marriage gets all that with the swoop of a pen, and a same-gender marriage has to jump through a MILLION hoops and fork out a ton of cash, is just wrong!

I, personally, don't care what the hell they call it, I just want the ability to have the same rights in my next relationship whether it is with a man or a woman as I had in my het ex-marriage.

It doesn't seem like it should be so complicated... I get that it is, but it shouldn't be.

And for all the people who say that allowing two people of the same sex to marry would devalue the institution of marriage, how about all the people you hear about (admittedly, mostly celebrities) who marry, divorce, and remarry? and the infidelity that seems to be so common? How could allowing two men or two women who've been together for years to make it formal be any worse for marriage than what we're seeing?

GC, I wonder if there is anyone associated with the GLBT community that can help, pro bono or otherwise, with the asinine adventure that you and DW have to go through.

I'd be tempted to fight it. Its challenges to that sort of inconsistency (coupled with the grandfathered gay couples BUT NO MORE! "legal" status) that is going to get that rediculousness overturned.

However, it's not just Gloom and DW they need to worry about now! Baby person is coming! And it might not be in his best interest to fight that battle right now...

How could allowing two men or two women who've been together for years to make it formal be any worse for marriage than what we're seeing?

Seriously. My failed marriage devalued the institution far more than either of my two gay uncles' relationships (each of more than fifteen years, so far) did.

I am pissed beyond belief at the way our society craps all over parenthood. Two days of maternity leave? That's an insult. And GC's wife having to PAY MONEY to legally be the parent to her own child? I am there for whatever beat down is necessary. And I also vote.

Java said what I was coming to the end to say. What a bullshit situation, GC.

My failed marriage devalued the institution far more than either of my two gay uncles' relationships (each of more than fifteen years, so far) did.

I'm also with Cass. My marriage lasted 7 years, at the same time I know at least 10 same sex couples who have been together 20+ years.

The fact is though, the health of the institution cannot be diminished by those who enter and then leave it. It thrives on good unions where two healthy (and/or compatible) people reside. Marriage doesn't need unhappy people staying together. THAT devalues it.

::ahem, pardon the peeve::

I completely screwed up the invitations for my mother and father-in-law's 40th anniversary party. I left about 10 people off the invitation list and am now scrambling to call them all less than two weeks before the party. My sister-in-law is (rightfully) pissed off at me.

Fortunately, everyone I missed I got a hold of on the phone and they are coming, but still. Major fail.

GC, have you checked directly with your County Recorders office, just in case? I just don't understand how listing your wife on the birth certificate isn't enough to make her legally a parent. Does someone review birth certificates and reject the ones with names that look like they might be the same gender? It's ridiculous.

But if the whole adoption thing is what you have to do, I hope it is as easy a process as possible.

GC, I am so sorry that you and your DW have to deal with this, and that the fuckwittery of some hateful, bigoted people has caused this strife for your family.

Thanks for all the support. I did at least find out that my legal coverage through work (that I paid for this year, thank God) will cover it. So at least the money part shouldn't be too awful. Still furious it has to be done at all. I mean, if DW were a man, and we used a sperm donor, I could just put my "husband" as the father on the birth cert and there would be no questions asked. LAME.

I mean, if DW were a man, and we used a sperm donor, I could just put my "husband" as the father on the birth cert and there would be no questions asked.

Really?? I mean, I get where you could just put the MaleHusbandName down and not be questioned, but would it be legal? I know next to nothing on this. (Everything I know is about adoption, so I am really asking. You and DW are totally the parents, I don't get why the legal docs can't just say this, as a moral thing.)

Oh! In happy adoption news, baby Julia is now big sister Julia. P and her hub adopted another baby girl. Everyone is quite thrilled by the embiggened family, as am I.