I've been trying to come up with what to say about 2008. So far I got nothing.

Well, you did clean out your closets. So you got that going for you.

I've been trying to come up with what to say about 2008. So far I got nothing.

You could try bitter irony.

Maybe start with the horrible pain and work your way back to the death, maintaining a leitmotif of unrelieved stress and random financial hardship.

A lot of people had shitty 2008s, but you and Drew managed to tag team a real doozy. I'm glad you had each other and I hope the next year is really pretty freakin' boring, with lots of sustained pleasures for you both.

Megan, you are so very right. I need to bring you back to help me finish the job.

Hec, thank you. It really was such an awful year, and I think I've been so focused on trying not to feel sorry for myself and trying to remember that we are still very lucky in so many ways that I haven't really let myself just say, "Yep, that pretty much sucked donkey balls." Sometimes it's nice to admit that it was really just shitty.

But being the optimist that I am, I am determined to make 2009 a great year. Nine is my favorite number, so I'm expecting good things.

I'm still formulating what to say about 2008. I steadfastly refuse to write it off as a bad year. Yes, there was plenty of heartache and bad, but when I really step back and look at the year I can also find some amazingly good stuff. I am planning on putting it all together soon enough, I just need to sit down an start to sort through it.

2008 started and ended with funerals and death. A member of my extended family overdosed on New Years Eve 2007 and died at the age of 25. 2008 began with watching that grief and anguish.

My uncle died last week on December 30 and I find myself in the same place, but closer to the center. 30 years ago today, Uncle Larry got in a horrific car accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. He fought back from that, and fought so much more. This was so sudden he didn't have the opportunity to gird himself for the battle, and he lost.

In between, things were pretty quiet, for the most part. The widow of our beloved friend (who died in November 2007) passed away in February, and that was the funeral that I couldn't go to. I had a valid excuse, but the bottom line was that I just didn't have the mental and emotional reserves to go.

Tom lost his job in August, which led to no small amount of anxiety, but which ultimately led to a change he's needed for quite some time now. Also in the "Win" column for 2008 was the acquisition of the newest and totally beloved member of our family, Taz the Cat. He is awesome. In July, we also had a wonderful vacation up in Maine that was everything a vacation should be.

2009 should bring change, and I'm hoping it will be for the better. The plan is to finish up my degree this spring and find a new and more challenging position. Tom and I are hoping to celebrate 5 years of marriage in the fall by visiting San Francisco and Northern CA. My sister will have her 3rd child in June. Whatever is unforeseen, I hope I will be ready for it.

I feel a bit bad saying this (or at least insensitive) but 2008 was a pretty good year for me.

The Good:

• Well, tops on the list was Frisco's birth. Well, actually getting to meet Frisco, find out what a total cutie he is (he spent a good 5 minutes this morning pretending to fall on me and then catching himself at which point I would say "oh no" and he would laugh his little head off), and fall in love with this little person that was given to me. But actually giving birth to Frisco was pretty damn cool as well and hugly empowering and satisfying.

• I got a chance to spend a lot of time with family this year. The highlight there was the 10 day road trip with my kid and my parents (Joe was working) through New Mexico, the edge of Colorado, Utah, and Arizona. I got to see some awesome parts of this country - amazing rock formations and gorgeous scenery for miles.

• Despite the normal, new baby induced relationship frustrations, I feel good that Joe and I are united in our struggles in life as opposed to fighting each other. It has been a bit hard for him adjusting to two, I think, but mostly we have worked through it.

• I quit my job for USCIS when Frisco was born and that was great. Because Joe's job is so totally stable (a real blessing in this economy) I've been able to take what is essentially a very low paid apprenticeship. I don't always enjoy it but I'm learning a lot and eventually, when we are living in one place long term, I should be able to take what I'm learning and turn it into a real career.

• In the same vein, my professional triumph this year was getting two people out of jail on Christmas Eve. It wasn't exactly real intellectual lawyering, but it was a lot of hard work and wouldn't have happened if not for me and that felt good.

The Bad

• Well, not much. Joe has had some real work troubles this year and that has been hard to watch. He works so hard and the bad stuff is really beyond his control, but as the boss, he is responsible. It's hard watching the one you love take responsibility for stuff beyond his control.

• I miss the Buffistas. Not having a steady office job has meant that I'm not at the computer as much as I'd like to be.

• I had professional pictures taken of Frisco by

hey, my post didn't continue :( bummer

I think I said something like:

• the pictures were taken by this woman back in March. I paid her in September and then she stopped returning my phone calls/emails. It was heartbreaking because they were beautiful pictures. I'm working on a small claim against her but it's hard because I have to do it in Minnesota and I'm here in PR. I just want my pictures.

So, that's my year. Overall, everyone I love is alive, healthy, and employed so I feel blessed. We should have orders for our next move in the next few weeks. I have no idea where we are going. Many things have been put forth, but so far nothing is final or even close to final. I just hope that where ever we are, there will be some Buffistae there.

Lovely to read, Stephanie. It is a pleasure to celebrate the good things happening in Buffista lives. We want the pictures too! I have enjoyed the happy family pictures that you have posted in the past year. Brings a smile every time.

For me, 2008 has been *a year*. I can't even really categorize all that has happened into good/bad.

• Got a new job within my company which included a move to Denver in the summer.

• Told DH that I wanted a divorce.

• DH decided he would move to Colorado also to stay near his son.

• Went on a massive cleaning spree, prepping the house to go up for sale and prepping for a move to Denver.

• House went on the market in May.

• K-Bug and I looked at a few colleges and she chose Sonoma State.

• Living in the same house but separate from STBX was much easier than expected. We continue to be amicable, though when I spend much time with him now, it underlines why the break was so necessary and long overdue.

• K-Bug graduated from High School.

• June 30th was the official move date, CJ and I flew to Colorado while mom drove with a friend of hers. K-Bug flew out later after a Senior Trip to Disneyland.

• CJ started Karate and after a couple of months got me to join also. We are both Orange belts now.

• CJ started a new school and ADHD meds. He had done fantastic so far, academically, though he is still struggling with making good friends.

• K-Bug returned the California and started College on her own. She earned great grades her first semester and has gotten very involved in the Residential Life leadership group and hopes to be a CSA (like a Resident Assistant) next year.

• Adjusting to my new job has involved a steep learning curve, but I am loving the work and the people so much better than my old job.

• We dropped the price on the house several times.

• Mom has handled the move pretty well and her health has held pretty steady. She seems to enjoy the new location, though some days are rougher than others.

• I left my van with K-Bug, so have been sharing a car with my mom. Never thought I'd be ok with not having my own wheels, but it has worked out fine so far.

• My first review for my new job was extremely complimentary. Unfortunately, with the economy the way it is, the accompanying raise was not so fantastic - but I have a job I enjoy, so that is worth a ton.

• Finally got a workable offer on the house, just before Christmas only to run into some major bumps the day before New Years. Still waiting to see how that plays out.

Basically my life flipped upside down. I feel like I'm still missing some of the milestones, there has just been so much. I feel like I'm in a much better place mentally though, financially, not quite so much.

Here is to 2009 bringing closure to those outstanding issues - the house, the divorce, the financial mess... Maybe that is too much to hope for, but sometimes you have to wish big.

We want the pictures too!

well, if you want to see a picture she took of Ellie, it is here: [link]

(I know she has the right to use the picture of Ellie, but it's just a bit...galling...that she would use a picture of my daughter but not send me the pictures I've paid her for.)

eta: context