What Plei said about Sam. I definitely feel payoff/evolution from misled ego-driven S4!Sam. And nobody in Show has paid any attention.

I'm still a Dean!Girl, though.

Dean has gone from Brash Cocky Black-and-White Dean to ... Disillusioned Sadfaced Tired But Still Fighting Dean

He's had the hole inside for a long time, it's just how he's working around it that's different. And, NOT TO SAY PORN, but I think he's (NOT PORN) filling it with (NOT PORN) Sam differently now.

Also, I'd love to see him verbally process that he has other people to let down, although I think JA conveyed Dean's reactions to Bobby and Castiel quite well.

I just made an episode spreadsheet. That can't end well. I realised that since the last time I made a list, I've rewatched all of S3 and S4, and can therefore pick my top episodes from those seasons.

But it hurts! Mummy, hold me!

It didn't make it much easier, my first pass on giving every episode so far star ratings. Surprisingly, season 4 is lower on 5s so far than 3, but it's way high on 4 star ratings.

But I need to review it again. And possibly again. Then again.

I think Dean has had that hole inside forever, pretty much. He just didn't know it until recently.

I just made an episode spreadsheet. That can't end well.

Aw! Actually, it's probably a good thing I don't know how to make one of them.

For some reason I seem to place the first identification of the hole as In My Time of Dying, but reading the transcript doesn't support that. So I'm going to have to go with Croatoan, as the first time, I think.

The spreadsheet is pretty simple. I'm going to rate every episode out of five, and then once that is done put in a column for overall ranking, and maybe one for in-season ranking.

I haven't made an episode spreadsheet since mid-Angel. ::sigh::

Oh--question that occurred to me elsewhere--were Katie Cassidy, Lauren Cohan, and/or Genevieve Cortese series regulars?

I've been so upset with what they've done with his character (or rather, with what they haven't done with his character) as the show's progressed that I have no faith in their treatment of him any longer.

I have to wonder, do you enjoy watching the show still? And interacting fannishly with it? I know there are people that have dropped SPN and they seem happier not watching than they were watching and talking about a show that upset them.

I haven't made an episode spreadsheet since mid-Angel. ::sigh::

I haven't been this invested since then. It is scary.

For some reason I seem to place the first identification of the hole as In My Time of Dying, but reading the transcript doesn't support that. So I'm going to have to go with Croatoan, as the first time, I think.

Oh yes, at least since Croatoan. That's the first time that I remember thinking that he might not be able to go on.

Like he's become Awesome Mature Thoughtful Sam instead of Angry Young Emo Sam! And there's a logical progression that we've seen!

Yes again. I am very happy (and weirdly proud?) of the man that is Sam. I am a Dean!Girl all the way (and I do mean porn), but I wouldn't be watching this series if it was just the Dean show. It is SHOW and that is made up of an inseparable web of Sam and Dean from their childhood through present day. They are both -- necessary.

If Dean hasn't shown any indication that he can go on without Sam (because, really, even though Michael was supposed to relinquish the meatsuit in working order, he gave up his car, jacket, and gun--not the sign of someone returning to their life), I would be a faithless Dean!Girl if *I* could set Sam aside. Castiel's nice, and all (and by that I certainly mean porn), but he's no replacement, and I look askance at all those who would posit so.

Sam stood by Dean when Cas didn't. I need to catch up on TWOP and see what those same people said about that. Inasmuch as they're allowed to talk about it.

ita, I think you need to share the spreadsheet.

By which I mean grabby hands.

I think you need to share the spreadsheet.

Really, I need to put in writers, at the very least. Maybe also directors.

And resist the urge to make graphs. Oops. Too late.

Gimme a couple days.

Really, I need to put in writers, at the very least. Maybe also directors.

And resist the urge to make graphs. Oops. Too late.

Totally coveting the spreadsheet.

I'm watching Cassie and the Racist truck for the first time in over a year. Which makes me feel even more obsessed because I'm trying to absorb everything that is said about Cassie and Dean.

I wonder if the actress that played Cassie had done a better job, if she was meant to be Lisa.