the angels were being mean to humans again.

Must be Thursday.

The previews are on crank, dude. I can never tell what the hell is going on.

I'm going to have to rewatch this episode about a billion times over the weekend.

Okay, someone talk me down about the amulet being thrown away, because right now I'm just reading it as Dean being pissy all over again about Sam abandoning him (oh woe!) to go to college. I never got the impression that Dean was all that invested in the amulet as a magikal God-tracking GPS, and for years it was a tangible sign of the bond between the brothers. Him tossing it seemed like a deliberate slap in the face to Sam, rather than an existential "God has abandoned us and we no longer need a way to find him" move. Please convince me that Dean is not once again retreating to the boneheaded "you don't love me because you dared to go to college" stance in the midst of an apocalypse, particularly since I thought they got past this about 3 years ago.

Yeah, but I think that since every single one of Sam's favorite memories had to do with leaving Dean behind, Dean's feeling kinda pissy. Those are Sam's strongest memories right this minute and not one of them includes Dean.

this whole episode broke my heart.

Those are Sam's strongest memories right this minute and not one of them includes Dean.

And some of them are memories that were actually very painful for Dean so it's even a deeper cut.

They both slapped each other this episode. Sam's wasn't intentional though. If my head is spinning, I think Dean should be given a few moments pass on being pissy. I knew Mary wasn't really Mary and yet that was still too painful to watch her being so mean. Dean is pissed about a lot of things. I think the amulet was tainted by the God in Dean's eyes.

I don't think Dean is being "pissy" at all. He's despairing. And Joshua called him on it -- he's losing faith in everything, himself and Sam included.

No, he never thought it was a magical amulet, it was purely sentimental. But he just came out of a heaven that drove home just how false some of his memories were, and he even admitted it. He said to Sam that John and Mary's marriage was only perfect after she died, and I don't think he'd have let himself admit that aloud before now.

It's hardly him being petulant. He's broken, again, some more, and he's symbolically letting go of memories that he knows he embellished just to soothe himself.

Those are Sam's strongest memories right this minute and not one of them includes Dean.

It started with a Sam and Dean memory, though. And Dean had a memory that didn't include Sam. Dean really, really has issues with not letting Sam "establish an independent identity" or whatever the psychologists would call it. If Sam had stayed home and not gone to college, Dean probably would have smothered him. He would have done it with love every step of the way, but he would have suffocated him.

Wow, that was unremittingly painful.

I think Dean is blind right now, and can't see that Sam cares, and that's why he threw the amulet away. It's not just Sam, but it's definitely got Sam in it. He's isolated--from Sam, from everyone. He caved and prayed, and God rejected him. His idyllic home memories weren't that. Castiel's probably off beginning his fall and is of no use to anyone. Bobby has been gotten to by Lucifer.

Michael's the closest to anything he's got right now. I think he's gonna be saying yes, and it may not have anything to do with Sam saying yes to Lucifer. He will probably think he's the only one that can fix it and that no one else can help, because he doesn't trust them anymore--but he'll still feel responsible for them.

He didn't hear when Ash said that soulmates find each other in heaven, as he and Sam sat there. He didn't see Sam wince with every blow Zach's henchman dealt him. His very first heavenly memory was of being hugged by Sam.

I know there are meta reasons, but it's still narratively interesting that John doesn't figure directly into their heavens.

It started with a Sam and Dean memory in Dean's head. Sam started with the kindness of strangers.

I am not saying Sam is wrong to have gone out on his own (for college--not when he ran away from home), but neither is Dean for being hurt that Sam's heavenly memories were of someone else's Thanksgiving (taste of normal), hanging out on his own with a dog having run off, and leaving for Stanford (in what we already knew was a blow out fight between Sam and John).

So Dean dropping the amulet, it's not about Sam going off to college, really. It's about all of it. Not even Sam, but Sam and Pamela and Ellen and Jo and Mom and God and the cumulative loss of people and loss of faith in the mission and self and relationships.

Sam... is not that kid who ran away from his brother and holed up with a dog, not any longer. And we, the audience know that. Sam knows that (HIS LITTLE FACE, OMG! SO MUCH PAIN THERE WHEN IT DROPPED!), but Dean? Doesn't. Or doesn't trust that he does.