Now all I need to do is not get obsessed. That should be easy. Just a white nightdress with short sleeves. Easy as pie.

Mmm. Pie.

Okay, now I have pudding thoughts.

"Pudding!"

I don't have any elephant books.

"Boop!"

Heart is on this morning. SAMMY.

I know! Baby!

Sara's home (snow day) and she walked in while they were doing rock paper scissors, and burst out laughing. "Oh my goodness, they're like BABY CHILDREN hunting demons!"

Snerk.

And the question of whether I'll still cry on the, I don't know, dozenth viewing? Answered.

I work fewer hours on a Friday, so I decided to stay home and catch Sammy's misery (and magnificence--JP, keep eating what you're eating!) in full.

I LOVE THIS EPISODE. I never really liked Emmanuelle Vaugier on CSI: NY, but I totally dig her here. I'm still not a Sam!Girl, but I love watching him fall for her. It's so sweet.

And the ending just tears me up. When Dean gets all big bro and takes the gun, and then Sam cries and then Dean cries it's pure button-pushing. I also love every time they have Sam cry so messily and Dean cry so prettily. Amuses the hell out of me.

From rewatching Sam, Interrupted last night I was even more struck with Dean's isolation. I'd glossed over the first time how he paints the job of saving the world as a one-man gig. He's still totally co-dependent on little bro and doesn't appreciate being separated from him, but even while they work together he has assumed the job of fixing things all to himself.

Sam must know that Dean's drinking himself to sleep for what little sleep he gets. I would like to know how he's handling that. Part of me wonders if he cares, and I don't mean that in a bad way. Just that Sam needs Dean right now--and in ways Dean can't give, because Dean's trying to give everything to saving everyone, not just Sam (but especially Sam). And I don't think he has anything left over to fix Sam, not healthily.

And the ending just tears me up. When Dean gets all big bro and takes the gun, and then Sam cries and then Dean cries it's pure button-pushing.

This. Dean so wants all the normal stuff for his little brother -- get the girl, have some fun, have a drink. Knowing Sam is determined to do this himself is just as hard for him as it is for Sam. It looked like Dean thought a particular part of Sam's innocence was gone in that moment.

From rewatching Sam, Interrupted last night I was even more struck with Dean's isolation.

Dean is never really going to accept that this isn't all his responsibility. He's the big brother, he's supposed to fix everything. And what struck me in that very last scene was the look on Sam's face -- JP totally sold that Sam knows just how deeply broken Dean is, that he *can't* let go and let anything out and expect to function. And as much as he needs to talk, he's the more mature one here, because he's letting Dean hang on to his allusions and his coping mechanisms.

Sam must know that Dean's drinking himself to sleep for what little sleep he gets. I would like to know how he's handling that. Part of me wonders if he cares, and I don't mean that in a bad way.

I think he's probably accepted that whatever gets each of them through the night at this point has to be okay.