I clearly always liked Dean, but when I understood I loved Dean was when he worked out John was possessed. That was such heartbreak.

That was such a moment. The way JA's expression changed as he realized ... gave me shivers.

Speaking of other fans, unsurprisingly Destiel fans are in good cheer, for many reasons.

I rambled about that scene at length to S., who very patiently listened. What I loved about it was the feeling that their bond really is transcendent -- it doesn't have to be sexual, it doesn't have to be buddies hanging out drinking beer, it doesn't even have to be brothers (or brothers in arms). It's totally its own thing, and it's the deepest kind of love Dean has felt for anyone outside of his family.

I think the fact that it's not sexual is what got sister to watch, actually. I was explaining the conflicting "why are they putting so much into it if it's not going to feature genitals???" and "it doesn't need to move past this point to be perfect!!!" and I think she needed to see what that meant for herself.

It's incredibly satisfying to cheer on exactly what's onscreen. Completely separate is the what-if-they-were-naked part of it. I adore the canon interaction so deeply, and I really do wonder at how much they put in, because it is really complicated and multilayered and both Jensen and Misha have a lot in there that's likely not in the script (but may come from directors--no way to be sure). There are a lot of tics that are easy to build a case out of, but since I don't believe in current or future canon Destiel, I just wonder at the choices.

Speaking of choices, something came across my dash that said that "Pudding!" was originally Sam's line? Uh, what? Thanks for moving that, whoever was responsible. I think it's borderline Dean, and Sam is not the one with the Mottsy stuff, not even in a pinch (well, while sober). I'm so glad that panned out the way it did.

And...she's invested! You were right, Amy. She wasn't making it out of IMTOD with her walls intact.

We're sending tomes back and forth, and I can honestly say I'm surprised that I've never made Asimov's laws of robotics into the laws of Dean. I mean, he's really simple, no?

• Dean may not injure Sam or through inaction allow Sam to come to harm.
• Dean must obey orders given to him by John, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
• Dean must save people and hunt things as long as the family business does not conflict with the First or Second laws

That and pie.

Dean may not injure Sam or through inaction allow Sam to come to harm.

Dean must obey orders given to him by John, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Dean must save people and hunt things as long as the family business does not conflict with the First or Second laws

That and pie.

This needs to be on a poster somewhere.

Also, yay sister of ita! I knew you could do it.

I love this episode to itty bits, starting from the actual eagle snacking on liver.

ita's Laws of Dean = genius.

Oh! And Dean's comment about a guy who fights like Jason Bourne, dies a lot, and has a history with violent women being Sam! Heh.

That was funny. And sad.

I liked the eagle.

My sister is asking me, as of Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, if Dean is an alcoholic. I've been pretty careful to only answer in her present tense, and give only sweeping ideas of changes (Sam gets a lot of perspective on Dean in season 5, that sort of thing), but I don't know how to answer that, because I wasn't wrapped up in his drinking that earlier, but I'm clearly obsessed now...

The two of us might just be related.

Here are liveblogging excerpts:

Everybody Loves A Clown:

This is totally realistic grieving. They're grieving individually the ways you would expect they would as characters, and they're responding to each other's grieving as a dyad the way you'd expect them to - recriminations, mis-understandings etc. Cos it's all based on what we know of them as brothers. For a split second early on I thought they'd gotten over it too easily. Not.

Bloodlust (she's a Gordon fan):

Sam's bangs are parting. Will see if there's any symbolic meaning as the season progresses.

"You can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to." Unless, of course, that whoever is Cas.

like the idea of vampires as victims.

Ah, that's what black guy doesn't know. He says he and Dean are alike, but Dean would not have killed his sister if she had been turned into a vampire. And that's why Dean will always be a little grey, try as he might not to be. And that's what Sam points out at the end.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things:

Ooh, Sam watching porn? Fully dressed? Really? He needs practice.

but I don't know how to answer that

Yes.

Functional and not nearly - are there levels of alcoholism? - as much as he will be later, but yes.

I'm enjoying watching your sister watch the show. Especially because it's so early. I'm okay with the fact that the earlier seasons are always going to grab my heart more than later. So thinking back through it is really fun for me.

I hadn't actually considered she'd enjoy it this much, or give it this much thought. It's my meta thing, and she has her meta things, you know?

But this is fascinating.

And resonates way more than the million of "insights" that come across my dash. Hey--Dean drank coffee twice this episode, so he's not an alcoholic anymore because coffee out of a mug means... I have no fucking idea, but he pours himself a whiskey before he looks up the dragon penis, so what is your point about him healing again? Who does that other than someone who drinks because they drink by this point?

It's brain-work. Only current alcoholics are going to likker up for research.

Okay, let me be clear--I'm not trying to be antagonistic towards Wincesters in general. Is there anyone here, though, that shares this person's viewpoint:

#I know a lot of people think Wincest is all about Sam and Dean being together sexually# But this right here# This scene is what Wincest is to me# Look at the sheer panic in Sams face# Look at the absolute loss he is feeling at his brother being gone# It’s panic and terror and he has no control and he can’t find Dean#and it’s his worst nightmare#It has always been his worst nightmare#Ever since he was a kid and Dean would leave him at Pluckys when he went on dates# It’s the fear of being without Dean#but more than that#It’s the fear that Dean will be without him# Sam will find him# and they wiill be together again# because that right there#is what this show is about#

Because nothing there bothers me other than the word incest. So I don't understand when someone says "it's not about the sex, it's the other stuff" and I wonder-why are they having sex, then? That doesn't accidentally happen--there has to be deliberation there. If you think incest is hot, or this pair of brothers fucking the shit out of each other (or gently making love) then I understand in a non-empathic way. But the explanations that say "not about the sex" seem to ignore how big a taboo is being crossed here, like it's no thing.