I have to warn you... be prepared to live with frustration. ("Sam had good intentions in killing Lilith, and yet Sam is not shown the same understanding.") I understand it may be a YMMV type of thing, but from my perspective, Sam was never give the chance to really explain why things fell out for him as they did. The fandom that was sympathetic to him had to jump through hoops to come up with explanations. And the fandom that was not sympathetic, well they were ready to burn him at the stake.

I wasn't reading much meta at the time. The only form of meta now that I'm exposed to is S4 fic. I have a knee jer inability to relax and enjoy sympathetic Ruby fic, because I do believe that although demons can be pragmatic, their long term plans are never for *your* good. They might be not for your bad, but if they're telling you it's for your good we have no history to support that, and even the angels being massive dicks doesn't change that.

Basically--I never bought her. But Sam? Sam was a bit high on himself and what he thought he could do, but that seemed perfectly natural considering he'd had a demon in his ear for months, he'd been mourning his brother, he comes back so different, and he's ingesting this foreign substance whose full effect is never fully explained.

But he started out to resurrect then avenge Dean (Winchester 101) and he continued to save Dean from having to do something difficult he didn't look like he could pull off (grad school Winchester if I've ever seen it). So any fic set in S4 which ignores his core motivation is less palatable to me than a sympathetic reading of Ruby, but either of them are *really* unlikely to be read to the end.

Now, the thoughts in Dean's head during S4 about himself and Sam--that's...that can be hard to read. Because I believe in the back half, it was an ugly place I don't enjoy reading about. But it feels to me like canon--unlike the points above I've said I will flee from. This is just canon I don't enjoy.

Anyhoo, I'm sorry to break in on the conversation, but none of my local friends are in this fandom, and I just had to share with someone before I burst.

Share here anytime, for real. We need more of Us!

This is just canon I don't enjoy.

For me, S5 is worse. Dean's angry and suspicious in S4, and it turns out he was right to be, even though Sam was never *choosing* Ruby over him (and I completely believe that Sam's intentions were good, and he really thought he was doing the right thing). And Sam wasn't being honest with Dean for most of that season, so sometimes I wonder if on some level he didn't *quite* trust that he was making the right choice. But in the beginning of S5, when Dean doesn't even know if he can forgive Sam, and then the separation ... I know it didn't last long, but it hurt (me) so bad.

I watched Mystery Spot the other night, and what struck me was how brotherly the whole episode was. Dean and his annoying habits and teasing, Sam working hard to convince Dean that, little brother or not, he knew the deal this time and Dean had to trust him, Dean doing the *soothing Sam* bit in the diner ... There's so much about their relationship right there just in the top half.

Hair spoiler. Now that Eliot has lost his, Sam's is extra important to me, and this could be really good follicular replacement.

Man, Elliot's hair loss has had me wishing Sam could do the same. Jared's hair never got the level of ridiculous that CK's did (I still think the braids -and possibly beads- beat out the dimple-infringing sideburns). I wonder, for purely academic reasons, what a season 1-type hairstyle would look on a 2012!Jared. Or even something middling.

Also, that sneak peak has me conflicted and angsty. My first reaction was "MEAN!". And I think that reaction is both from a meta pov and a narrative pov, but not a proper reaction for an unfolding story.

Good lord. I've never liked Sam's hair more. Get your traitorous self away from him.

I have a weird panic they'll fuck with the fangirls and give him a buzzcut before all is said and done (can you imagine hiding that spoiler???), but for now, I like it even more than before.

But then again, I'm on record as never having been mad at the beads either. Potentially cheesy rationale aside.

The beads?

I think Jared totally carries off the hair, but Kane really didn't. Not as long as it was, and doing that flippy thing. Maybe it's the body proportions or the face shape, but I like Jared/Sam with long hair much more than Kane.

Kane would wear a tiny braid with beads in it as a nod to his Native heritage. Never bothered me any, but a fair number of people thought it looked stupid.

I don't know if I ever noticed the beads. Huh.

It took me way too long to find even this crappy example: [link] . Zoom!

I can't work out why they aren't more prevalent.