I'm not sure it is what kept from trying to march into Hell to save Sam
Okay, this I definitely do disagree with--in my Supernatural worldview he might have grown up enough not to waste his life for *nothing*, but he didn't try to save Sam purely because Sam asked. Purely.
In fact, I managed to get it wedged in my head that he actually did research. Didn't *do* anything (because he couldn't find an answer), so plausible deniability is his friend. But he peeked.
I don't usually hallucinate canon, but this is one piece I had to back and verify didn't happen, because I was so sure it had.
Failing it being true, I sure do like it.
Huh. I thought at some point he said he did research but got nothing too. OK in exile on Main Street [link]
Dean: Good for who? I showed up on their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much. I had nightmares. I looked everywhere. I collected hundreds of books, trying to find anything to bust you out.
Sam: You promised you'd leave it alone.
Dean: Of course I didn't leave it alone! Sue me! A damn year? You couldn't put me out of my misery?
Huh.
Huh.
Okay, so I guess I didn't make it up...I really thought that was head canon.
Do you think that if he had found a way to trade his life for Sam's that he would have done it? Would the promise to Sam stop him then?
I have a sneaking suspicion that he figures the mistake he made the first time was allowing a scenario in which Sam would find out while he was still there. If it could be a straight up swap and Sam couldn't yell at him for it...
I'm not sure he's totally fixed yet.
I think Dean came back hating himself and Buffy came back hating her friends.
Ooh, excellent answer. I don't think I would have framed it that way, but it makes a lot of sense.
If he is just going through the motions because it is all that he knows to do, is he still a hero?
lcat, I'm so glad you liked the essay! I'm not totally happy with it -- I feel like at the end I lapsed into OH, DEAN without a lot of actual thought, but it should be clear that I love him (and Sam!). The whole thing was such a treat --getting to write about the show for money? Awesome.
I don't know how much he's just going through the motions up till now -- I think there was a sense of that in S7, but when he had Sam to take care of, his mindset was very different.
Now, he's got to get out of purgatory, which is pure survival. I think it's going to depend what happens to him there, and what the next big bad ends up being, before we know where his head is in S8.
I want to think that he (and Sam) learned a lot about deals between them, and that their reaction to Bobby (sort of) proves it, but then ... as important as Bobby is, he isn't Sam or Dean. It's hard to say! I have to think about it some more. They've been through so much since I wrote that piece, and I haven't really considered it.
Ha! Amy, that was beautiful.
Does Dean describe himself as atheist at any point? I mean, with that precise word?
Not specifically with that word, as far as I know.
