[link] pretty amazing vid manip. could be construed as Destiel. mostly it's just awesome and kind of heartbreaking.

I thought that was the saddest thing ever, but then I tried to watch the vid it's a sequel to, and I couldn't finish it because the idea was too depressing.

Cas continues to taste like very many things.

Juliebird, have you read Jollysnidge? I think she's my new guilty pleasure. She writes like a rabbit breeding, and goes to a couple depressing/disturbing places, but not too bad. She's firmly D/C, and she's never seen a movie she couldn't adapt. Dirty Dancing, seriously.

rewatching the second to last ep, and Dean's in the hospital room with Lisa and Ben, and what struck me was the line, "I just lost control for a minute", and that suddenly sounded like so much more and made my heart break all over again. Like even Dean's secret desire for a family and normal life was reckless and irresponsible.

At the time my heart clenched and I felt nothing but pity for Dean. He was in such despair and there he was sacrificing what seemed to be his only shot at a normal, happy life (or as close to normal and happy as he's going to get.) I'm pretty sure the writers intended it to be a maximum emotional whumpage moment for Dean, an ultimate Dean!woobie moment.

But the longer I've mulled it over (and, to be fair, the more I've read other peoples' discussions about the episode) I've drifted from my initial reaction of sorrow towards Dean and more towards horror at what he did. Not to put a fine point on it, he mind-raped Lisa. Yes, he did it because he wanted to take away the bad memories -- but they were her memories he was fucking around with, and I have strong negative reactions towards characters who do things like that (I was equally distressed when Willow did the same thing to Tara).

Also, he did it in an backwards upside-down way to make himself feel better -- sure, he's alone, but at least he knows that Lisa's not out there hurting and Ben's not out there angry, so he can absolve himself of a little bit of that guilt. Except -- he actually left her in a worse position because of what he did. Every evil thing out there still knows that Lisa and Ben are important to Dean, so they still have targets painted on them. Except they don't know it now. So they don't know anything about the supernatural or about the basics of how to protect themselves or who to call if they see anything weird going on.

So essentially he did a really bad thing and made matters worse.

Juliebird, have you read Jollysnidge?

Heh, I've been pingponging between Dirty Dancing and Dan in Real Life and But I'm a Cheerleader for the past few weeks on fanfiction.net before s/he started updating on deancastiel. And found out that the weird priest!AU had extra chapters.

I've been pingponging between Dirty Dancing and Dan in Real Life and But I'm a Cheerleader for the past few weeks on fanfiction.net before s/he started updating on deancastiel

Yeah, I've been camping on her FFNET page too. I'm glad she's prolific. She hits a spot, and she writes lots of variation into her AUs. Not brilliant, but satisfying.

I dunno, Morgana, I think that the show clearly shows that Lisa being in the know did absolutely nothing to protect her from the boogeyman. Not to say it wasn't ultimately selfish from an objective standpoint, or that it can't be both heartbreakingly selfless and selfish at the same time. Because Dean still let himself be the bad guy in Lisa's eyes. It's not like he was running away from all culpability. He made a point of letting Lisa know him, and know as the dude who hurt her. But, yes, he did take her choices away from her. But I still come away with a whole lot of hurty.

She hits a spot

Yeah.

Obstinatrix is another that I get a little excited about when I see a new post. There was one love-slave fic she did that went to a wincest place that was absolutely filthy hot, but afterwards I was horrified by the physical and mind-rape of it. I'm still not able to really stomach "Cas is a god and makes Dean/the boys service him".

I'm still not able to really stomach "Cas is a god and makes Dean/the boys service him".

I'm good as long as there's no brother touchy touchy. Dean taking one for the team is quite attractive to me, especially if there's an overtone of "I'd have slept with you anyway, so will you behave?" That's a level of dub-con (the mythical hypothetical dub-con, never seen in the wild) that I can dig.

But obstinatrix can sure write porn.

There have been more Wincestiel fics popping up on deancastiel. I really need to start reading the warnings more carefully.

I'm currently rereading Shootin' You Straight. I'd forgotten how hot that was. Rockstarpeach seems to be off writing Wincest now. I hope she doesn't abandon D/C.

I've drifted from my initial reaction of sorrow towards Dean and more towards horror at what he did. Not to put a fine point on it, he mind-raped Lisa.

My heart of heart feels both. He looked at this thing - this concept of family and pair bonding - he wanted and he so desperately wanted it, but he gave it up.

But it was also skeevy as fuck.

But it was also skeevy as fuck.

I think it's the combination of the sorrow and the horror/skeeviness (I am so, so glad they had Sam call him out on it right away) that made the moment so painful.