Sharp instrument. Both are line quotes: Daddy's little blunt object. Unfortunately I can't cite the sharp instrument quote.

As an aside, my desk is in a corner of the family room, and during the span of posting here, H, StY and I have been arguing--in that sense of lively discussion from differing points of view--gender, religious, and sexual orientation issues. Much of which is cross-pollination. "Philosophy in stereo!" (to echo "Death by stereo!" from Lost Boys)

someone who expects you to be your best but doesn't judge when you are not. He'll cuddle a child, notice a nearly inaccessible blown light bulb and not take 'no, it's okay' for an answer. He'll then climb up the cabinets and do crazy trapeze moves to replace the bulb, all the while making funny faces to make the child laugh.

Yes. Exactly this. They do exist. I am married to one, more often than not. Of course there are times when he thinks he's the company commander, or he gets his head up his butt about one social issue or another, or has a wrong-headed idea about politics.* But for the most part, this is a good description.

*this explains, of course, why those infrequent and minor lapses when I am whiny and want to be babied, or am a termagent about some trifle or other do not affect my overall wonderfulness. Nobody can be on all the time. But when the chips are down, whoever's less damaged has to step up, and trust that it'll be okay when your own leg (mind, heart) is too broke to function.

But when the chips are down, whoever's less damaged has to step up, and trust that it'll be okay when your own leg (mind, heart) is too broke to function.

This is exactly it.

What Juliana (brilliantly!) defines as a SNAG has also been called (by Amanda Marcotte of Pandagon and other feminist bloggers) the "Nice Guy(TM)".

It's a persistent topic on many feminist blogs, because it's such a bloody persistent attitude in our culture. Which brings me to a point ....

Sunil, I know your remark was meant as a joke. Please take a piece of advice from a person somewhat older and more experienced than yourself:

Unlearn the reflex to tell/post those jokes.

They're not funny. They do nothing to improve your status in the eyes of women or men who respect women (in fact, they have quite a negative effect). This kind of crap happens to many women every damned day. The more we can do to create spaces where women don't have to put up with that shit, the more time we will have to discuss topics of mutual interest and generally be better human beings.

Thanks for listening.

I'm older and more experienced than Sunil too and I thought it was funny. I didn't think he was serious and wasn't threatened by his remark at all.

eta: I just didn't want to remain silent as if the above post spoke for me. Nothing more.

Me, either. I think of long-term male 'Ffistas as friends who have naughty joke privileges.

Although I appreciate Karl's protectiveness, I honestly didn't see anything offensive in it at all.

God knows, I am a crass chick. And dude, we objectify men here! A lot! Sometimes. Ok, a lot.

::thinks of Dean in a tux::

::objectifies him::

My favorite time to objectify Dean is when he is breaking the windows out of the Impala with that crowbar/tire iron thingy. The t shirt, the sweat, the arms. He is objectified.

I didn't give that comment much brain space but what did cross my mind was, "Nah. Don't."

Which tangentially reminded me of a conversation with male co-workers about some trashy line they'd heard another guy use. I made some offhanded snark like, "Shuh! That would never work on a woman!" They all turned toward me with apologetic looks, "Um. Well. Yeah. Pretty much every time." I despaired for my kind.

OMG I am never going away from my internets again. I missed all the spicy brain talk! Woe!

Wow, I have a lot to think about now. Including, apparently, Dean breaking the Impala's back window. Which is not quite when I objectify, but more when I want to cuddle him and make him tea.