What Juliana (brilliantly!) defines as a SNAG has also been called (by Amanda Marcotte of Pandagon and other feminist bloggers) the "Nice Guy(TM)".

It's a persistent topic on many feminist blogs, because it's such a bloody persistent attitude in our culture. Which brings me to a point ....

Sunil, I know your remark was meant as a joke. Please take a piece of advice from a person somewhat older and more experienced than yourself:

Unlearn the reflex to tell/post those jokes.

They're not funny. They do nothing to improve your status in the eyes of women or men who respect women (in fact, they have quite a negative effect). This kind of crap happens to many women every damned day. The more we can do to create spaces where women don't have to put up with that shit, the more time we will have to discuss topics of mutual interest and generally be better human beings.

Thanks for listening.

I'm older and more experienced than Sunil too and I thought it was funny. I didn't think he was serious and wasn't threatened by his remark at all.

eta: I just didn't want to remain silent as if the above post spoke for me. Nothing more.

Me, either. I think of long-term male 'Ffistas as friends who have naughty joke privileges.

Although I appreciate Karl's protectiveness, I honestly didn't see anything offensive in it at all.

God knows, I am a crass chick. And dude, we objectify men here! A lot! Sometimes. Ok, a lot.

::thinks of Dean in a tux::

::objectifies him::

My favorite time to objectify Dean is when he is breaking the windows out of the Impala with that crowbar/tire iron thingy. The t shirt, the sweat, the arms. He is objectified.

I didn't give that comment much brain space but what did cross my mind was, "Nah. Don't."

Which tangentially reminded me of a conversation with male co-workers about some trashy line they'd heard another guy use. I made some offhanded snark like, "Shuh! That would never work on a woman!" They all turned toward me with apologetic looks, "Um. Well. Yeah. Pretty much every time." I despaired for my kind.

OMG I am never going away from my internets again. I missed all the spicy brain talk! Woe!

Wow, I have a lot to think about now. Including, apparently, Dean breaking the Impala's back window. Which is not quite when I objectify, but more when I want to cuddle him and make him tea.

I just didn't want to remain silent as if the above post spoke for me. Nothing more.

Thanks. I do apologize if my joke caused offense. I did consider whether or not to post it, but, like Erin said, I figured I had naughty joke privileges.

Which is not quite when I objectify, but more when I want to cuddle him and make him tea.

And we're back to the tea again!

Seriously. Maybe I'm a Sensitive New Age Gal!

I objectify Dean most when he's fixing the car. Or wearing a tux. Or being compassionate to a little boy who's been traumatized. Or smirking. Or chewing on a pen.

Um.

Or on the phone, or sleeping, or eating, or...