The Oxford rugby team had a party where the theme was to dress up as Orthodox Jews, complete with bags of money, and bring Jewish girls as dates.

Gee, I wonder how Oxford and Cambridge got their reputations as being anti-semitic.

I can recall a newspaper article covering the Nebraska law that went into a couple of the available case histories of the abandonments and it was all for trouble that you would consider major and serious, like the kid who was torturing and killing the neighbors' cats and the state had essentially told the parent that he was either going to have to turn the kid into the criminal justice system OR pay for treatment on his own, which wasn't possible on his salary -- nothing useful inbetween.

FWIW, most of the 'abandoned' children have been placed with other family members, like the family of 9.

he was either going to have to turn the kid into the criminal justice system OR pay for treatment on his own, which wasn't possible on his salary -- nothing useful inbetween.

The inbetween is what I'm thinking about. No real idea what it would look like. But say you have either the kid who is unmanageable or the parent who isn't sound...that kids need to be helped, regardless. If not, society ends up footing the bill anyway. Why not have a solution that doesn't end up being the worst case scenario.

I'm really sorry to throw a thought and then bolt, but I have to run.

And there may be parents using Nebraska as a dumping area for kids that they just don't want to raise anymore. But if someone's willing to drive from another state to get rid of their kid, I don't know how great it would be for the kid to be raised by them. Being raised by someone who considers kids a burden can suck even if they are willing to stick it out.

if someone's willing to drive from another state to get rid of their kid, I don't know how great it would be for the kid to be raised by them

That's waht I've been thinking, "this persion should not have custody of another human being, kudos for them for realizing it and making some effort to getting the kid to some sort of better situation." Even if the parent is thinking, "damn kids, I'd rather be sitting around drinking beer than taking care of them, I know, road trip to Nebraska." Some people just aren't going to straighten themselves out, and there shouldn't be dependents around to suffer for it.

And some may be doing it because it is the only way the kids get the help they need. Not because they are bad parents, but because they've exhausted everything they can do, through no failing of their own. There was a TAL focusing on something like that.

I've a friend who is pretty much...well, they've done everything. Used everything they can get their hands on and they've had to work their asses off to get those resources, even fighting the system that is supposed to be helping them. And now, they're in this horrid cycle of courts and juvie and drama. Until the kid hits 18, or straightens out, this will probably continue. It's all that has been left available to them. Short of a private residential center, which they can in no way swing and is no guarantee...that's all that is left.

Omg I was not prepared for the craziness that is the JCPenny portrait studio. They are running an hour behind. There are mobs of families, no room in the waiting area. Oy

I'm sitting with Sparky and Sarameg. I don't think I have enough info to really make a judgment about the law or the people. I do know, as a middle school and high school teacher, that I have seen how hard it is to parent some kids and how little help there is to make sure a parent knows what to do. I cannot tell you how many parent-conferences I have had where people say, "I don't know what to do with _____. What should I do?"

And, as a person who uses state-funded programs for both of my kids, I cannot begin to express the sheer frustration, difficult and heartbreak there is in getting the system to respond to your kid's needs. The amount of paper I work I do, the phone calls I have to make, the millions of visits, previsits, insurance papers I have to file is almost a full time job.

Anyhow. Clearly a hot button issue for me. Even without enough info.

We took Noah to Kidspace today (burrell, I got your message after. It would have been a terrible day for you to come because of the smoke, which is headache inducing) because K's class had to go there. He had so much fun. So much that he even melted down in a way that I had never seen before because the sensory stimulation was too much, too much, too much. Poor noodle.

oh no msbelle!

I need buffistas medical advice. I did something to my hip getting on the bus with my cart. I think it might be sciatic nerve related because it radiates down my leg. But now I can't really move or bend-- heat or ice?

I do know, as a middle school and high school teacher, that I have seen how hard it is to parent some kids and how little help there is to make sure a parent knows what to do. I cannot tell you how many parent-conferences I have had where people say, "I don't know what to do with _____. What should I do?"

Exactly.

What is also difficult is the child stuck in a home where they are blamed for all the problems and the parent regularly tells them they would 'get rid of them if they could,' or that the only reason the child is still in the house is because the law forces the parent to keep them.

This last week I tried, again, to help for one of my students and was told, again, that verbal abuse isn't considered abuse. I was also told that not taking care of a childs medical needs isn't abuse, either.