I think maybe this is one of those scenarios where advice is useless. VW should only do what she feels like doing*. It doesn't have to be political or a symbol of dynamics or anything.

* which could be called advice. Heh.

ETA: Never mind. Figured it out.

But, didn't you know, the fact that I'm a considerate person is what he loves most about me.

It is head-explodey. It really, really is.

Grr.

I sort of feel like we're forgetting that people ARE head-explodey. Especially people in relationships. We keep seeing snippets of the conversation that outrage or confuse us...but damn, couldn't any of you post snippets from any conversation you've ever had with anyone and...well...I best be getting off to Macy's before I keep rambling.

Humans aint perfect. We all screw up. All of the time. We all act like morons a lot of the time.

Or maybe it's only me who does.

VW should only do what she feels like doing

Totally. I think everyone pretty much said that, too, just with some added "Grr." Which I mean to say completely kindly, by the way - I absolutely get what you're saying about some tangential relationships outlasting the main one.

Or maybe it's only me who does.

it's not only you. I can think of a moronic thing or two I've already done today.

I sort of feel like we're forgetting that people ARE head-explodey. Especially people in relationships. We keep seeing snippets of the conversation that outrage or confuse us...but damn, couldn't any of you post snippets from any conversation you've ever had with anyone and...well...I best be getting off to Macy's before I keep rambling.

Logically, this makes perfect sense, but vw is my very good friend, so I'm just going to stick with grr. And of course vw should do whatever she is comfortable doing wrt the gifts.

Humans aint perfect. We all screw up. All of the time. We all act like morons a lot of the time.

Definitely. I admitted in my post that his behavior is behavior I have sometimes exhibited myself (the being kinda hypocritical thing). But it still is what it is, whether it's me doing it or someone else. No reason not to call it (in either case!) But it doesn't mean one can't have compassion for someone being a little whatever-it-is-they're-being, which vw clearly does, even if we're all a little more growly.

Again, am speaking just to clarify my thoughts - nothin' but love for ya'. For reals.

((Vw))) I wish I had some better advice than do what's right. Sorry he's being so perplexing and head explodey.

I am currently roasting in my apartment. It's nice outside, 44F, I should be in a long sleeve shirt, some sleep pants, my slippers, bundled up. Instead I'm roasting, it's around 70 (I think it's hard to tell) and the heat isn't on.

I think it's heat rising from my downstairs neighbors or something. It's always hot when they are home.

Oh joy I just discovered my washer is utterly dead. And it died before the spin cycle so there is water in it. With my flat sheet.

lovely.

Oh, ugh, askye. At least that's one good thing about having a laundry room, there's usually multiple working appliances. Yay?

Which reminds me, someone remind me in 10 minutes when the House rerun is over to go put my laundry in the dryer.