I'm trying to pack for Friday and looked at the weather in Utah and saw snow flurries. Yikes. Not exactly what I was expecting.

Yeah, sorry about that. October in Utah. It won't stick, though. Just bring warm clothes.

It also snows in April here, with May not unheard of.

My sister was attacked by monkeys...

(No really, she was on vacation in Kuala Lumpur this week and visited the priests of Lord Murga to have a prayer said for a sick friend in the States. She was given a banana that had been blessed by the priests, but on her way out it was stolen by some vicious temple monkeys. A Buddhist monk with an umbrella chased them away for her.)

Are Buddhist monks allowed to chase monkeys? I mean, isn't there a thing about honoring all living things?

My brother got bit by an aardvark!

(Actually, it was an anteater of some sort. But I like the word aardvark.)

I think chasing monkeys is okay. Actually hitting them with your umbrella, probably not.

Maybe the umbrella has a picture of a charging tiger on it... then the monk could open and close the umbrella rapidly, scaring the shit out of the monkeys.

I was attacked by a heifer once....

A Buddhist monk gave me a super dirty look one day because when he was walking past I was actually saying something like, "I hate mosquitos!" He flashed me a terrible look and I wanted to say, "Listen, motherfucker, aren't you supposed to be all non-judgmental!?"

Have I mentioned my neighbor, he of the hacking persistent cough? I'm in my living roon, with the windows closed and the TV on, he's in the apartment one floor below me and one apartment over, and I can still hear him, and it's been going on for at least a month.

You give me hope that the two weeks I've spent hacking and coughing have been as annoying to my downstairs neighbors as their 3 am raised-voice rants and door knocking were to me.

Today's oatmeal was made with milk, almonds, and sugar-free Irish Cream syrup.

I am pronouncing it a success.