I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.

Spike ,'Same Time, Same Place'


Spike's Bitches 42: Which question do you want me to answer first?  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Steph L. - Sep 01, 2008 7:52:52 am PDT #3953 of 10001
I look more rad than Lutheranism

It has nothing to do with you.

But it makes me feel *so* rotten.

And if it has nothing to do with me, then I can't *do* anything to make it better for him. And I can't stand being helpless.


JenP - Sep 01, 2008 7:57:29 am PDT #3954 of 10001

I'm just hoping we don't disagree on the proper way to clean the bathroom.

I was going to say that there's really no wrong way someone else can clean my bathroom, because it means that I don't have to do it. But then I read Scola's post...

FWIW, Steph, I didn't get a jealous vibe from anything you've said. I also interpreted what Hec said to mean that it would be hard for the The Boy to imagine that you'd be jealous given that you are The Girl, a.k.a. The Right Person. (I always resist doing that - interpreting [out loud] what someone else posted, because maybe I'm not right. So, apologies in advance!)


DavidS - Sep 01, 2008 8:04:22 am PDT #3955 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

I see that, but you are seeing this as about you, and it's 100% about HIM

This is exactly so, in my experience.

You are not a reminder of any kind of failure or a replacement. You are the good positive thing that allows him to imagine his own future again.

I also interpreted what Hec said to mean that it would be hard for the The Boy to imagine that you'd be jealous given that you are The Girl, a.k.a. The Right Person.

Exactly.

I could not trust my feelings. that's what I had to struggle with and it sounds like that's what he struggles with. The hole is in him and it's not something you fill. It has nothing to do with you.

This is also very much what I went through.


Steph L. - Sep 01, 2008 8:09:54 am PDT #3956 of 10001
I look more rad than Lutheranism

I see that, but you are seeing this as about you, and it's 100% about HIM

This is exactly so, in my experience.

But then what do I *do*? What do *I* do? This just hurts so much.


Barb - Sep 01, 2008 8:12:04 am PDT #3957 of 10001
“Not dead yet!”

Timelies all-- back from Land of Maus, completely exhausted, but with enough time to recover before the munchkins head back to school tomorrow.

Reading through, I'm appalled that Labor Day weekend has turned into a weekend of labor for so many. Again, many good thoughts and continued ~ma for Vortex; Stephanie, good to hear that you got a nap-- did the fevers go down, as they're wont to do with the little ones?

"I have a good recipe for chocolate pie." = "She thinks she's a better cook than I am."

Yargh, Ginger-- I fear I'm turning into this, at least with respect to writing. I've been having such a hard time lately, with the rejections and other issues, that I've seemed to have lost the joy in brainstorming and am simply hearing well-meaning suggestions through a filter of "you don't like it, you must think it sucks," which is not only stupid, but dangerous and narrow-minded. I'm trying to break free of the cycle, but since I'm currently stuck in a vicious state of limbo, it's tough. Bah--

I'm me, and I can only fit a me-shaped hole -- and I don't feel reassured right now (by him) that he can live with that hole always. being. there. while I'm standing next to it, unwilling to try to fill it.

Yeah, but honey, if he'd wanted the ex-wife shaped hole, she'd still be there. It's a hole that has to close gradually, but you're not expected to fill it or even patch it. You're just expected to be you (who is completely fabulous) and carve your own niche in his life as he's done with yours.


JenP - Sep 01, 2008 8:18:51 am PDT #3958 of 10001

I tell you what, if you say to him some of the lovely things you've posted about him here, then I bet that helps to reassure him that he is clearly not a failure at relationships. Says the single chick who knows more about nuclear physics than relationships, which is to say, not a lot. At all. So, again, take it for what it's worth.

In conclusion: I'm sorry you feel crappy. I wish for it go away.

In completely unrelated news, I'm borrowing my sister's dog for the week, because she is aDORable. I swear, I feel the stress of a spectacularly crap week last week just melting away with her stalwart presence. Pets are awesome.


DebetEsse - Sep 01, 2008 8:20:10 am PDT #3959 of 10001
Woe to the fucking wicked.

I have no useful advice for Teppy, though I am reading everyone's comments with interest and sympathy.

Also, huge amounts of -ma for Vortex.


ChiKat - Sep 01, 2008 8:21:51 am PDT #3960 of 10001
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?

But then what do I *do*? What do *I* do? This just hurts so much.

This is what sucks so much when the person we love hurts. We want to jump in and do something and fix it when all you can do is love him. Which is everything.


DavidS - Sep 01, 2008 8:24:18 am PDT #3961 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Me and Scrappy's assistant, L., at Canter's deli

Scrappy also ogles the rugelach.


JenP - Sep 01, 2008 8:25:57 am PDT #3962 of 10001

Mmmmm. Rugelach. Also, I would like Scrappy's hair color, please.