I see that, but you are seeing this as about you, and it's 100% about HIM
This is exactly so, in my experience.
You are not a reminder of any kind of failure or a replacement. You are the good positive thing that allows him to imagine his own future again.
I also interpreted what Hec said to mean that it would be hard for the The Boy to imagine that you'd be jealous given that you are The Girl, a.k.a. The Right Person.
Exactly.
I could not trust my feelings. that's what I had to struggle with and it sounds like that's what he struggles with. The hole is in him and it's not something you fill. It has nothing to do with you.
This is also very much what I went through.
I see that, but you are seeing this as about you, and it's 100% about HIM
This is exactly so, in my experience.
But then what do I *do*? What do *I* do? This just hurts so much.
Timelies all-- back from Land of Maus, completely exhausted, but with enough time to recover before the munchkins head back to school tomorrow.
Reading through, I'm appalled that Labor Day weekend has turned into a weekend of labor for so many. Again, many good thoughts and continued ~ma for Vortex; Stephanie, good to hear that you got a nap-- did the fevers go down, as they're wont to do with the little ones?
"I have a good recipe for chocolate pie." = "She thinks she's a better cook than I am."
Yargh, Ginger-- I fear I'm turning into this, at least with respect to writing. I've been having such a hard time lately, with the rejections and other issues, that I've seemed to have lost the joy in brainstorming and am simply hearing well-meaning suggestions through a filter of "you don't like it, you must think it sucks," which is not only stupid, but dangerous and narrow-minded. I'm trying to break free of the cycle, but since I'm currently stuck in a vicious state of limbo, it's tough. Bah--
I'm me, and I can only fit a me-shaped hole -- and I don't feel reassured right now (by him) that he can live with that hole always. being. there. while I'm standing next to it, unwilling to try to fill it.
Yeah, but honey, if he'd wanted the ex-wife shaped hole, she'd still be there. It's a hole that has to close gradually, but you're not expected to fill it or even patch it. You're just expected to be you (who is completely fabulous) and carve your own niche in his life as he's done with yours.
I tell you what, if you say to him some of the lovely things you've posted about him here, then I bet that helps to reassure him that he is clearly not a failure at relationships. Says the single chick who knows more about nuclear physics than relationships, which is to say, not a lot. At all. So, again, take it for what it's worth.
In conclusion: I'm sorry you feel crappy. I wish for it go away.
In completely unrelated news, I'm borrowing my sister's dog for the week, because she is aDORable. I swear, I feel the stress of a spectacularly crap week last week just melting away with her stalwart presence. Pets are awesome.
I have no useful advice for Teppy, though I am reading everyone's comments with interest and sympathy.
Also, huge amounts of -ma for Vortex.
But then what do I *do*? What do *I* do? This just hurts so much.
This is what sucks so much when the person we love hurts. We want to jump in and do something and fix it when all you can do is love him. Which is everything.
Mmmmm. Rugelach. Also, I would like Scrappy's hair color, please.
More of Scrappy's haircolor. (She's turned her face from the camera, but that's her, second from the right.)
